One of my clients came back from a three day ski trip with the buddies he's known since childhood, right in the middle of his marriage falling apart, and only one of them asked what was going on. He came home lonelier than when he left. That story is basically the whole conversation I had...
I was in my mid-20s, still a virgin, numbed out on porn, and I didn't have the first clue how to be in my own body. That's where I started, and that's the story I brought onto Born without a Choice this week, because I think a lot of men are living some version of...
There are two ways men have learned to fail at masculinity, and most guys I work with have lived both of them. Either you're the macho jerk, or you swing so hard away from that you land in what I call the new age wimp, all attunement and no spine, unable to set a boundary...
Nice guys aren't nearly as nice as we think we are. That's the paradox I got into with Lauren on this episode of The Connection Podcast, and it's one I've lived through myself. We talked about where nice guy syndrome actually comes from, not weakness, but an old survival strategy. A lot of us learned...
There's a moment every man will face where his body simply won't let him push through anymore, whether that's illness, an accident, or just the slow arrival of old age, and when that day comes, what you'll have to lean on is the relationships you built long before you needed them. That's the thread running...
There's a moment Jason Lange sees over and over with the men he works with, when the old script finally breaks. You did everything you were told to do, provide, stay tough, never crack, and you're still lying awake thinking this can't be all there is. That's the entry point into this conversation with Oti...
I sat down with the hosts of KneeToKnee to talk about something I see constantly in my work with men, and it's a hard one to name because it doesn't look like a problem on the surface. The nice guy isn't the villain of the story. He's the guy who swore he'd never become his...
There's a particular kind of hell in trying really fucking hard and still not winning anywhere, and that's exactly where so many nice guys live. It's deadening and frustrating at the same time, like a tea kettle that's vibrating but never actually lets off steam. I got into that with Melanie Curtin on this episode...
There was a stretch of my life, decades actually, where I knew exactly what I needed to change and still went to bed every night having done nothing about it. That gap between knowing and doing is what I dig into with Melanie Curtin on this episode of Dear Men, and it's a pattern I...
The most important question about AI and your relationship isn't whether to use it. It's where the thought or feeling originates. That distinction is at the center of this conversation with Melanie Curtin on our latest episode on the Dear Men Podcast. We went deep on what AI can genuinely do for your love life,...
Most men spend their entire adult lives being rewarded for leaving their bodies. And the cost of that doesn't show up all at once. It accumulates quietly, in the rumination, the health problems they ignore, the relationships where their partner says "I can't feel you." I sat down with Anuradha Varma on Swishing Mindsets to...
Most men I know aren't lonely because they're alone. They're lonely because the relationships they have never go underneath the surface. That distinction matters more than almost anything else I talked about in this episode of The Divergence Room. We covered a lot in 31 minutes. The cultural conditioning that teaches boys to override what's...
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