Presence is the capacity to stay in contact with your own experience while something is actually happening. That is different from calm, and different again from being relaxed. A man can be perfectly calm and completely absent. Jason Lange teaches this from the body rather than from a whiteboard, because presence is a state your nervous system either has access to or does not, and agreeing with the concept changes nothing. Your breath, your jaw, your gut and your feet on the floor are the instruments. Interoception, which is just the sense of what is happening inside you, trains the same way a squat trains, and most men were never handed a single rep.
If you landed here, you may live mostly in your head, or go blank under pressure, or hear from the people closest to you that you seem far away. "Breath is a Portal" covers the one automatic system you can take the wheel on. "How to Stop Freezing" gets into what happens in your body when your throat closes. "Name What You Notice" is the simplest practice in the whole catalog and the one that changes a room. "Three Keys to Regain Your Center" is what to do on the days you wake up off and cannot say why. Start anywhere below.
Performance anxiety in bed, whether it shows up as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, often starts somewhere you've probably never looked. Somatic sex educator Rahi Chun joins me to talk about porn, stress, and the tension your pelvic floor has been holding for years.
When your anger fires, how old are you in that moment? Alistair Moes has spent 31 years on this, and on meeting conflict as the adult instead of the kid.
You snapped at your kid over something small and watched her face change. Where that charge comes from, and where to put it when your family is not the place.
She reads your body before your hand ever moves, and no technique covers for a tight one. What your breath and your jaw are telling her, and how to change the signal.
Wanting to please her is not the same as knowing how. Touch coach Elizabeth Anneka on the bullseye mismatch, and what breath does for touch that has gone stale.
Good, not great, fine. If that is your whole emotional range, the same clamp holding your grief down is holding your desire down, and you cannot read your way out.
You feel solid until a woman walks in and you freeze or bury your desire. Violet Lange and I get into why solo work cannot close that gap, and how men get reps.
Fight gets respect, flight at least looks like motion, and freeze just looks like you left the room. What happens in your body when your throat closes, and how to get moving again.
Improv makes you commit to a choice before you have vetted it. Benjamin Roth and Jeff Raab on getting out of your head, and why being bad at things is a capacity.
You can learn the alpha drop in an afternoon. Your attachment wounds and your unfelt relational pain set the ceiling on erotic charge, and that is the slower work.
Michael Holt came up through violence and addiction and now teaches men to hold the primal and the sacred at once. Why a healed man still has teeth.
Amir Khalighi has spent three decades walking men back into their bodies and out into the natural world. What embodied masculine means in practice, and where men get lost.
Dr. Luke Adler maps what blocked emotion does inside the body, and how a stagnant middle cuts a man off from love and from purpose at the same time.
Grounding as a state lasts about as long as the exhale. The question nobody asks is what you are grounding into, and whether that structure can actually hold your weight.
Three drains account for most of the tiredness sleep does not touch, and holding your feelings in is one of them. What each one costs you and how to plug it.
Getting stuck in one state is what costs you, whether that state is fired up or shut down. Three kinds of fluidity to build, starting with your nervous system.
Dr. Luke Adler has run more than fifty thousand healing sessions in Chinese medicine. How the body digests experience, and what happens to your vitality when something stays undigested.
You set the goal because you are in pain, then miss it and prove the belief that caused the pain. Regulate the nervous system first and watch what becomes possible.
Nice guys wait for a signal from outside that never quite arrives. The difference between waiting for permission and resting until something inside you says it is time.
I just want to understand this is often a way to not feel it. Dr. Luke Adler and I on the fear that seals your head off from your heart and guts.
You followed the script, it worked, and there is still an undercurrent you cannot name. Dr. Luke Adler and I on dropping below the noise and letting yourself feel it.
The most dangerous men are the aggressive ones who have no idea they are angry. The difference between the two, and how to carry anger in a way that stays clean.
A lot of what you are calling stress is emotion you have not processed yet. Building the vocabulary to name what you feel, and what that does for your energy.
Where your attention goes is a power you can learn to aim. The tension you carry is what makes that hard, and the two are wired together more than you think.
You train past your capacity so that ordinary life stops feeling like a stretch. What training at the edge looks like for a nervous system, and why you do not live there.
Some days you wake up off and cannot say why. Three keys for getting your center back, starting with the one your senses respond to fastest, which is nature.
A lizard on a deck jerked its head left, right, up, down, and I recognized the rhythm. What that twitchy scanning state is doing to you all day long.
Told it was pouring an hour before the Super Bowl halftime show, Prince asked if they could make it rain harder. What being a yes to what is does for a man.
Naming what you notice out loud is most of what masculine leadership actually is. Why the simplest sentence in the room changes it, and how to practice saying it.
There is grief you can sit with alone for ten years without moving an inch. What co-regulation does that solitude cannot, and why your body needs another body present.
Holding space gets said a lot and explained almost never. What it means to hold a moment instead of fixing it, and what that does inside an intimate relationship.
Your liver runs without you and so does your heart. Breath is the one automatic system you can take the wheel on, which makes it a door into the unconscious.
Nice guys shut their drive down and become something a partner can lean on the wrong way. How to be a man she can push into and meet something solid.
Men were historically valued for being able to leave their bodies, which helps in war and ruins you in bed. What embodiment does for attraction and for leading well.
Most men think it comes down to lasting longer. Your real sexual power sits in where you can hold your attention, which is trainable and shows up everywhere else.
Running the same thought for three hours is not feeling anything. The difference between ruminating and actually feeling it, and why so many men hide in their heads.
Death is the one appointment on your calendar you cannot move. Keeping it in view daily is what moves a man from living safely to actually living free.
Emotion is energy in motion, so when you hold it in nothing moves, including you. Why your feelings are the fuel for the action you keep putting off.
WHEN LISTENING ISN’T ENOUGH
Most of what Jason talks about here gets practiced somewhere else, with other men, over months. That’s what the programs are for.
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