Name What You Notice

All right, and welcome back. On this episode, we're going to explore one of the core aspects of the masculine and how it pertains to leadership.

Now, I've talked about this in some different ways in previous episodes, but today we're really going to dig into this one fundamental idea, and it really can be summed up in name what you notice. That's right. That phrase name what you notice is the driver of what can be such a powerful version of masculine leadership.

Now, name what you notice really relates to what is core to the masculine aspect of all of us. Whether you're a man, a woman, non binary, we all have access to the full range of masculine and feminine energy. The masculine part of all of us is the part that witnesses, that notices, that sees.

So name what you notice is referring to this part of all of us, our innate masculine. The masculine at its depth, its most purest form is literally just consciousness or awareness. It is the awareness of whatever is in the moment. It is that which is noticing, not that which is noticed. Now, what makes this so powerful in terms of leadership is all you have to do is often name what you're noticing.

If you're naming what you're noticing, you're often tapping in to your masculine. And this may sound incredibly basic, but it is the masculine gift to see, to notice, to take a perspective on what's happening in the moment, what makes it profound. Leadership is that's often what starts transformation or change. This one is particularly applicable in relationship.

We were talking about this in one of my coaching programs recently in that naming what you notice means just speaking whatever you're feeling or noticing in the space, including tension. Right. In so many relationships, men fail to be the emotional leaders. Why is that? Well, often we just don't want to deal with it or we don't have the skills. But also oftentimes it's that we're not actually tapped in to what we're noticing.

But when we can name what we notice, hey, I notice things feel a little bit off between us right now, or that the energy has shifted, or it seems like you're maybe a little mad at me. That is creating a space for a conversation. That is your awareness driving the moment forward. That is an incredible act of Leadership that so many men fail to do.

And all we have to do is tap into our masculine and actually become aware. Now that's a lot easier when our focus isn't just on ourselves. This happens a lot. It happens to me all the time. Get constricted, get stuck in my head. And my awareness is on the things I'm thinking about, not the moment. So it's really easy to miss a lot of things and it makes it harder to lead.

But when I'm out of my head and in my body, attuning to my surroundings and who I'm with and myself, it's much easier to hold a much more spacious and wide awareness that helps me notice more. And then I can name that to take action on it. Wow, I see it looks like you might be cold. Should we move inside or under that heat lamp? Beautiful.

Leadership on a date or in a relationship, this stuff is fundamental to becoming a powerful leader as a man. Being able to name what you notice, particularly around emotions and in relationship, is an absolute game changer and will set you way above the pack compared to other men in your relationship or out there dating. Now, the same thing also can drive leadership in other areas of your life.

Naming what you notice can make you more impactful and effective in your job. Right? What are you noticing that needs to be done? What are you noticing that isn't working? Now it's really easy for us to assume, well, someone else will fix it or someone else will deal with it or. That's not my department. Being a good leader means stepping in and just naming it. Hey, you know, I've noticed this and this and this isn't working. Or I'm noticing there's an opportunity here and we're not taking it.

It's so simple, but it drives so much, so many of us are afraid to name what we notice. When we're even in a good enough spot to be in our body and be noticing stuff the rest of the time. Our thoughts are often on our own, shit, whatever that might be. And we're perseverating, right? We're just looping the same thoughts over and over and over again. So we're not noticing much because usually our thoughts have very little to do with what's happening exactly.

In the moment when we can let go of all that and drop into our bodies and calm our mind and open, open our bodies, open our hearts, widen our awareness, we can notice so much more and we can lead effectively. We can take stock of the moment, of a situation, of an interaction, and Notice what's happening in it and speak towards it. It's not rocket science, but it takes a lot of practice.

Relationship, as I talked about, is an amazing place to practice it, particularly with a partner you've known for a long time. Because over time you should be pretty aware of what their body does, what their breath does, what their voice does, and what actions they take in times of distress or when things are feeling off. Now, you don't have to know why, you just have to name that you're noticing it.

But when we don't do that, we're not leading. When we do start to name what we're noticing in all aspects of our life. Hey, I'm noticing we're having a really hard time connecting right now, aren't we? Or I'm noticing this conversation really isn't going anywhere. I'm noticing you haven't really been showing up to work on time, and I'm wondering what's going on in your life. There's so many arenas where this skill is incredibly valuable.

It's just to name what you notice, that awareness. Your awareness is your masculine. And when you tap into that, you are driving things forward. You are opening the moment by bringing yourself, whoever you're relating to, closer into it. This one's powerful because, hell, it doesn't even just have to be relational.

One of the things I've worked with many men on, based on my own experiences, is reworking the ways we try to regulate ourselves. Whether that's porn, masturbation, booze, weed, food, tv, checking our phones, social media. We all do it. We all have our things. And some of them become very habitual. Naming what you notice is such a simple and powerful practice for even interrupting that.

I'm wanting to walk over to the refrigerator right now and get a meatball. Now, if I tune into that, it's really easy to go deeper. Why? Oh, well, I'm not actually hungry. I'm just a little nervous about a project I have to get done or I don't know where to Start or Man, I haven't gotten a text back from so and so. I'm anxious. That's often the case. There's something underneath we want to feel and we reach to these other crutches. We can interrupt all that by naming what we're noticing in our own experience.

I'm not wanting to be here in this moment, so I'm trying to give myself some kind of dopamine. Hit what's going on and we can dig in. When we dig in, we can start to take real action that will actually lead to good results. The self soothing stuff, unless it's the healthy kind, it's usually the numbing, unconscious kind. Generally doesn't push things forward.

It just keeps things exactly as they are. Naming what we notice can feel dangerous. Sometimes it can feel risky. It is vulnerable because when we actually speak to what's happening in the moment, it brings uncertainty about what might happen next. It brings change, it brings the possibility of change. When we speak to what's actually happening right now, it often causes connection and it often opens things up for change.

This is why this is so revolutionary in work and relationships. Instead of coasting or ignoring or pretending it's not there, we actually bring awareness to and highlight all the things we're noticing in our awareness, in our mind, in our heart, in our emotions and in our body and our sensations. We have access to all three of those. Naming what we notice becomes such a powerful and surprisingly easy to access tool for leadership.

I'm noticing when you said that my chest got really tight or I'm noticing part of me just doesn't want to be here anymore or I'm noticing I'm feeling sad, feeling sad hearing you say that. Or I'm noticing you're having a hard time making eye contact with me and that makes me feel like you don't want to be here, whatever it is. There are countless examples of the power of naming what you notice.

This is one of the fundamental skills I work with men on to cultivate deeper leadership in their lives. Get in your body, open it up, become aware. Stop focusing on your own monkey mind thoughts and become aware of what's happening around you. That is the most fundamental and basic skill to becoming a powerful masculine leader. And you will be shocked often how easy it is to name what you notice and how powerful it is and how much it can really change things when we just start speaking up and naming what is actually in our awareness.

Because that is the masculine gift, your awareness, being aware, being conscious of what is. When you are tracking that is a gift to those around you. So here's a little challenge for you this week. Start to name what you notice. Particularly do it in situations or contexts where you usually might not speak up. You don't have to have the answer, you just have to name what you're noticing.

Hit me up. Let me know how it goes. Shoot me a message on Instagram or on my website. Until next time, if you're interested in working with me around dating, relationships, or your masculine presence in the world, just go to Evolutionary Men. Apply.