Offensive Love (with Luke Adler)
In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to talk about offensive love, a phrase that came out of our shadow work group a year ago.
Dr. Luke Adler
Co-facilitator, The Heart of Shadow
33 episodes on the show
Episodes with Dr. Luke Adler
Shadow Work to Save Your Relationship (with Luke Adler)
Going along to get along keeps the peace and hollows out your marriage. The implicit agreements quietly running your relationship, and what it takes to break one out loud.
Shadow Work for Inspiration (with Luke Adler)
You can take hard criticism all day and deflect a compliment in half a second. The kink in the hose that blocks your life force, and what sits on the other side of it.
Shadow Work for Regaining Your Power (with Luke Adler)
Nice guys go allergic to their own force, then wonder why nothing moves around them. The clog at your center, the father wound underneath it, and how to work it loose.
Shadow Work for Accountability (with Luke Adler)
Catharsis is the easy part. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into what has to come after the release, the repair it demands, and what it sounds like when your men call you forward.
The Heart of Shadow for Women (with Violet Lange & Luke Adler)
Men keep asking how to support the women in their lives through this work. Violet Lange, Dr. Luke Adler and I on what shadow work looks like when women do it.
Shadow Work for When You Can’t Say What You Feel (with Luke Adler)
You know exactly what you feel and the words will not leave your body. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into the gap between knowing and saying, and how to shorten it.
Shadow Work for Better Sex (with Luke Adler)
If sex is your only release valve, it is carrying a job it cannot hold. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into arousal, relaxation, and where performance anxiety actually comes from.
Shadow Work for Anxiety & Worry (with Luke Adler)
Worry feels like productivity right up until you notice nothing got decided. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into living from the shoulders up, and the discharge patterns underneath it.
Shadow Work for Depression (with Luke Adler)
Depression in men often has anger stuck underneath it with nowhere to go. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into the physiology of that stuckness and what starts the movement again.
Shadow Work for Nice Guys (with Luke Adler)
Nice guy runs deeper than personality. It is a survival response wired to the fear of losing connection, which is why reading another book about it never unwinds it.
The Seduction of Victim Masculinity (with Luke Adler)
The story that your manhood was taken from you is comforting, and it costs you your agency. Dr. Luke Adler and I on why victim masculinity sells so well right now.
The Marlboro Trap (with Luke Adler)
The cowboy alone on his own acreage is the image most of us were handed. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into what that fantasy costs you every time you refuse help.
Why Success Alone Won’t Save You (with Luke Adler)
The dating gap and the jobs numbers are the symptoms everybody is counting. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into the emotional illiteracy underneath them that nobody is measuring.
Purpose, Love, and Wounding (with Luke Adler)
Dr. Luke Adler maps what blocked emotion does inside the body, and how a stagnant middle cuts a man off from love and from purpose at the same time.
Brotherhood: The Missing Nutrient
The part of you that adapted to survive your family still runs the show under pressure. Dr. Luke Adler and I on why it only grows up through love from other men.
How to Become an Anti-Fragile Man (with Luke Adler)
Resilient means you survive the hit. Anti-fragile means the hit feeds you, and Dr. Luke Adler and I get into what has to be metabolized for that to become true.
Shadow Work for the Chronically Driven
You cannot feel how tired you are, which is exactly why you keep going. Dr. Luke Adler and I on the numbness under chronic drive, and how sensation comes back.
Shadow Work Helps Digest Life
Dr. Luke Adler has run more than fifty thousand healing sessions in Chinese medicine. How the body digests experience, and what happens to your vitality when something stays undigested.
Shadows, Sex, and Showing Up
Dr. Luke Adler and I drop the myth of the facilitator who has it all handled. Where we still lose sexual vitality, and where shame shows up at home.
Why Men Fear Being Vulnerable in Relationship (with Luke Adler)
You were told to open up, you did it, and her reaction was not what you expected. Dr. Luke Adler and I on what happens when a man brings feeling into the room.
Checking In VS Jerking Off (with Luke Adler!)
When the pressure builds you can discharge it alone in four minutes, or you can bring it to your men. Dr. Luke Adler and I on what each one does to you.
Why Men Think So Much (with Luke Adler)
I just want to understand this is often a way to not feel it. Dr. Luke Adler and I on the fear that seals your head off from your heart and guts.
The Courage to Feel (with Luke Adler)
You followed the script, it worked, and there is still an undercurrent you cannot name. Dr. Luke Adler and I on dropping below the noise and letting yourself feel it.
Shadow Work & Intimate Relationships (with Luke Adler)
The pain you have not owned gets handed to your partner in small daily installments. Dr. Luke Adler and I on what shadow work has done inside our own marriages.
Why Men Are So Hard on Themselves (with Luke Adler)
The voice that runs you down all day was learned somewhere, and it has a job it thinks it is doing. Dr. Luke Adler and I on where the harshness comes from.
Breaking Free from Stagnation (with Luke Adler)
Stuck has a physiology, and Dr. Luke Adler can tell you what stagnation does inside a body. Where the numbness starts, and what actually gets things moving again.
From Enlightenment to Intimacy (with Luke Adler)
Chasing enlightenment can become one more way to leave your own experience. Dr. Luke Adler and I on waking down into intimacy, which is what most men actually need.
Cracking Open to Your Deepest Self (with Luke Adler)
Cracking open needs a container that will hold, which is why it almost never happens alone. Dr. Luke Adler and I on what makes a space safe enough for that.
Take Charge of Your Sexual Charge (with Luke Adler)
Every few years another teacher blows up an organization over sex he never looked at. Dr. Luke Adler and I on working your sexual charge before it works you.
Core Level Healing with Luke Adler
Dr. Luke Adler and I spent five days on retreat doing our own work, then sat down and told each other what we found. Core level healing without the polish.
The Male Loneliness Epidemic with Luke Adler
More than half of men say they are not satisfied with the friendships they have, and the number keeps climbing. Dr. Luke Adler and I on why it gets harder with age.
The Heart of Shadow with Luke Adler
Dr. Luke Adler and I on what shadow actually is, how it shows up as numbness or stuckness in a man's life, and why facing it works better with other men.