Shame & Self-Worth

Shame is a social emotion. It only forms in relationship, which means it only moves in relationship, and that one fact explains why you can sit with your shame alone in the car for fifteen years and feel exactly the same at the end of it. Guilt says you did something bad. Shame says you are something bad, and a man carrying it will quietly organize his entire life around never being found out. Jason Lange has watched hundreds of men say their worst thing out loud in a circle and hear other men answer, yeah, me too, and I still like you. What happens in the nervous system in that moment is release, and men feel it physically.

If you landed here, there is probably something you have never told anyone, and some part of you believes it disqualifies you from love or work or both. There is also a good chance the voice running you down all day does not originally sound like yours. "Claim Your Shame" covers what saying it out loud does that hiding never will. "The Gift of Shame" has Dr. Keith Witt on the information shame carries about what you actually value. "Why Men Are So Hard on Themselves" has Dr. Luke Adler and Jason on where the harshness got installed. Below is the archive.

Every Shame & Self-Worth episode

Nov 1, 2021 · 18 min

Claim Your Shame

Shame is a social emotion, which means it only forms in relationship and it only moves there too. What claiming it out loud does that hiding it never will.

Shame & Self-Worth

WHEN LISTENING ISN’T ENOUGH

The work behind the podcast

Most of what Jason talks about here gets practiced somewhere else, with other men, over months. That’s what the programs are for.

See the programs