She reads your nervous system before she reads your hands. That is the part almost no technique content covers. If your jaw is set, your breath is riding high in your chest and your body is braced, she feels all of it, and no amount of skill covers for a tight body. Desire between two people is a conversation between two nervous systems, and it is happening whether or not either of you has words for it. Jason Lange teaches sex and desire the way he teaches everything else, from the body outward. Arousal arrives when the holding lets go, and no decision made in your head will produce it.
If you are here, sex has probably gotten predictable, or infrequent, or loaded with a question neither of you is asking out loud. "Why Would She WANT to Have Sex With You?" turns the usual question around and gets into responsive desire. "She Feels Your Tension Before She Feels Your Hands" is the somatic version of the same thing. "Can Sex Keep Getting Better in Long-term Relationship?" has Jason and Violet Lange on what has kept theirs getting better, and "The Problem with Porn" sets the morality argument aside to look at what it does to your arousal and your attention. Episodes below.
Performance anxiety in bed, whether it shows up as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, often starts somewhere you've probably never looked. Somatic sex educator Rahi Chun joins me to talk about porn, stress, and the tension your pelvic floor has been holding for years.
She reads your body before your hand ever moves, and no technique covers for a tight one. What your breath and your jaw are telling her, and how to change the signal.
You have asked why she does not want sex. You have probably never asked why she would. Responsive desire, her warm up sequence, and the one word that kills wanting.
Wanting to please her is not the same as knowing how. Touch coach Elizabeth Anneka on the bullseye mismatch, and what breath does for touch that has gone stale.
If sex is your only release valve, it is carrying a job it cannot hold. Dr. Luke Adler and I get into arousal, relaxation, and where performance anxiety actually comes from.
You can learn the alpha drop in an afternoon. Your attachment wounds and your unfelt relational pain set the ceiling on erotic charge, and that is the slower work.
You were told the sex fades after the wedding, and most couples around you confirm it. Violet Lange and I on what has kept ours getting better nine years in.
Dr. Luke Adler and I drop the myth of the facilitator who has it all handled. Where we still lose sexual vitality, and where shame shows up at home.
When the pressure builds you can discharge it alone in four minutes, or you can bring it to your men. Dr. Luke Adler and I on what each one does to you.
Every couple crosses a threshold where polarity and intimacy swap places, and plenty of relationships end right there. What goes wrong at that moment, and what holds it together.
Every few years another teacher blows up an organization over sex he never looked at. Dr. Luke Adler and I on working your sexual charge before it works you.
Melanie Curtin has surveyed thousands of women about what actually happens in bed. How to bring up sex in a way that opens her instead of closing the conversation.
Men were historically valued for being able to leave their bodies, which helps in war and ruins you in bed. What embodiment does for attraction and for leading well.
Set the morality argument aside for an hour. What porn does to your arousal and your attention is the part worth looking at, and I have my own history here.
Most men think it comes down to lasting longer. Your real sexual power sits in where you can hold your attention, which is trainable and shows up everywhere else.
WHEN LISTENING ISN’T ENOUGH
Most of what Jason talks about here gets practiced somewhere else, with other men, over months. That’s what the programs are for.
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