The Power in the Truth You’re Not Telling (with Shana James)
You hold the truth back because saying it feels like losing power. Shana James and I get into the posturing underneath that, and what honesty actually does to desire.
The Nice Guy
Nice guy is not a personality type, and it has very little to do with being kind. It is a survival response, and it runs deeper than most men expect. Gabor Mate puts it this way: a child is born needing attachment and needing authenticity, and when he has to pick one, he picks attachment every time. So he learns to read the room, manage everybody's mood and keep his own truth out of it, because connection felt conditional. That trade is where nice guy gets made, and it lives in the nervous system, which is why reading Dr. Robert Glover's book once and agreeing with all of it does not unwind it. Jason Lange is a recovering nice guy himself and says so on the show.
If you are here, you may be well liked and quietly resentful, keeping every promise you make and still badly out of alignment inside. "What Creates Nice Guys" covers the attachment trade at the root of it. "Integrity, Congruence, and Nice Guys" is the distinction that catches most men. "No More Mr. Lone Wolf" has Dr. Robert Glover himself on what it costs and why a group of men does what solo work cannot, and "I had a pretty good childhood" looks at the sentence nice guys reach for fastest. Start below.
Every The Nice Guy episode
Shadow Work for Regaining Your Power (with Luke Adler)
Nice guys go allergic to their own force, then wonder why nothing moves around them. The clog at your center, the father wound underneath it, and how to work it loose.
Navigating High-Conflict Divorce for Men (with Karen McMahon)
Staying for the kids can cost the kids more than leaving would. Karen McMahon on high conflict divorce, the guilt that freezes good men, and how to move without losing yourself.
Shadow Work for Nice Guys (with Luke Adler)
Nice guy runs deeper than personality. It is a survival response wired to the fear of losing connection, which is why reading another book about it never unwinds it.
No More Mr. Lone Wolf (with Dr. Robert Glover)
Dr. Robert Glover wrote the book that woke a lot of us up. He and I get into what nice guy costs you, and why a group of men does what solo work cannot.
It’s Better to Be a Nice Guy Than to Be a Dick
Men's work loves to talk about killing the nice guy. He is already an upgrade on the man who came before him, and the work is to add power to him.
The Difference Between Waiting and Resting
Nice guys wait for a signal from outside that never quite arrives. The difference between waiting for permission and resting until something inside you says it is time.
Integrity, Congruence, and Nice Guys
You can keep every promise you make and still be badly out of alignment inside. The difference between integrity and congruence, and why nice guys get caught right there.
What Creates Nice Guys
Gabor Mate says we are born needing attachment and needing authenticity. When a kid has to choose, he picks attachment, and that trade is where nice guy gets made.
“I had a pretty good childhood”
When a man tells me he had a pretty good childhood, I get curious. What is usually sitting underneath that sentence, and why nice guys reach for it so quickly.
She Wants to Trust You, Not Just Feel Safe With You
Nice guys work hard at making a woman feel safe and then wonder why nothing else happens. Safety and trust are different things, and she is waiting on the second.
WHEN LISTENING ISN’T ENOUGH
The work behind the podcast
Most of what Jason talks about here gets practiced somewhere else, with other men, over months. That’s what the programs are for.