Getting Past the First Date

Are you tired of:

“I’m just not feeling it..”


“You’re a really nice guy but…”

or even ____silence____

It can be time-consuming, expensive, and totally demoralizing to get stuck on the rollercoaster of first dates that lead nowhere.  Even worse is when it seems like the date is going well and that there’s mutual interest, maybe we get excited about where things might lead and then bam, in comes a text like above or full on ghosting.

Online dating can intensify this pattern of disappointment even more, as it’s possible to invest days or even weeks into a potential partner before meeting them that feels genuine and real, only to have it all disappear within one short coffee date.

This first date hamster wheel is an area many of my clients have struggled with, and often where they come closest to just giving up on dating all together.  “What’s the point” or “I’m so tired of thinking it was going well and then never hearing back from her“.

Sometimes it just comes down to a lack of chemistry or genuine mutual attraction, between the two of you, which you can’t always do something about.

But other times, it’s because she can’t feel you, you’re stuck in your head, and dates end up feeling more like a job interview than an interesting and exciting moment of connection.

In those times it’s more about your lack of presence than whether or not she could become interested in you.

And here’s the good news, presence can be cultivated.  Just the other day one of my clients reported that for the first time in his life, a date contacted HIM sharing how she wanted to see him again.

Developing a powerful presence requires getting more deeply connected to your yourself, cultivating a relaxed and open nervous system, learning how to flirt in authentic ways, and knowing how to lead in conversation to move past small talk into real depth.

Master those things, and step off the first date hamster wheel forever.

Want help figuring out how to cultivate your presence? I have a few Discovery Session Calls open in the next few days. Together we’ll explore how your presence is impacting your dating life. If it feels like a good fit for us to work together, I’ll share more about my powerful transformational dating program for men. If not, you’ll have a much better roadmap for moving forward in your love life. Everyone wins.

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