Evolutionary Couples & 12 Epic Dates

Jason Lange: All right, and welcome back. So I'm Jason Lange, host of the Evolutionary Men podcast here with my beautiful wife.

Violet Lange: And I'm Violet Lang. I'm the host of the Pleasure Path podcast and I'm a coach for women on dating, intimacy, love and relationships.

Jason Lange: And we're here to talk today about our own journey as a couple. And particularly this idea that if you only had about two hours a week to spend on your intimate relationship, what would be the most profound and deep way to do that?

Violet Lange: Where should we begin? I think about our own journey. I'll tell the beginning. So I had a dream, and this guy was in my dream three weeks before we actually met in real life. So I came into it a bit maybe starry eyed or spiritual bypassing, you could say. I had had a lot of relationships and none of them were easy. I think I was still searching for that, like, golden relationship that was just easy and smooth and felt perfect. And on our second, first or second date, I can't remember what date, Jason said something like, yeah, I don't think relationships are meant to be easy. You can create ease, but they're not like, meant to be easy. Relationship is like a spiritual path. And part of me hated that answer or that wisdom because maybe an inner child. Part of me still wanted it to just be a Disney movie, but a deeper part of me was like, yeah, that's right. And I do want to be with someone where we can cultivate ease but also have depth and connection and healthy fighting and a lot of things that were missing in my first marriage.

Jason Lange: Yeah. And I think there's this idea that we both certainly buy into that, you know, real love is created. It's actually something that's mended together by really more than anything else, a process of rupture and repair, being able to come back to each other over and over and over again. And certainly something a lot of you guys who have worked with me sometimes have the realization of and that we talk about is we're, you know, we're pretty much fed this myth of, oh, then you get married and then you live happily ever after. And the truth is that's actually where the journey really starts for most couples. And something I've talked about here, which is this idea that when we come together, you know, there's a lot of novelty, there's a lot of excitement, there's a lot of hormones, there's a lot of sexual energy. There's not necessarily as much trust, as much intimacy, as much bonding and oneness. And the longer you go in a relationship, the more those two things start to invert, where oftentimes you start to build more trust, more sameness, more togetherness. You're spending time together, you're sleeping over at each other's houses, you might move in. Suddenly you're going on vacations, you're waking up in your pajamas. You're not even getting dressed. You're going out for the day. Right. Which is very different. And early in a relationship where every time you see each other, it's a conscious choice. We're coming together intentionally to put our energy on each other. And as we go, that intention often goes down. In a sense, that sameness and just being in the same space goes up. And then the hormones start to wear off. And if our relationship to some extent is safe enough, in particular, then all of our attachment wounding. So all the stuff that we never really had the opportunity to heal and mend in our childhood or with our primary caregivers and. Or in previous relationships comes rear into the surface. Because it's like, oh, hey, here's an opportunity where maybe I can get those needs met that I never had met before. And it's that point that a lot of relationships go off the rails and where what we're going to talk about today, I think, can become so important.

Violet Lange: Yeah. And a lot of times we might not even be conscious of this. We'll be like, oh, I just fell out of love with this person. Or, they're really annoying, or, I can't believe I married this person. Like, we have stories that come up, and we might not also realize that we're projecting. Like, in our minds, we are imagining our partner as someone like our primary caregiver. If we have unhealed trauma with that caregiver, which, I mean, hello, we all have pretty much. Especially when we're getting into a relationship. So we start to think, for instance, like, oh, he's just, like, acting like my mom or acting like my dad. And then that can trigger our fight or flight or freeze or fall on response. And so our nervous systems get activated, and our relationship, instead of being a place of support and comfort and aliveness and passion, can then feel like a chore that we're just kind of slowly distancing ourselves from or it can feel like a battle zone, you know, where we're kind of out to prove that we're right or out to prove that we're lovable or in an aggressive way, heal some of these unconscious wounds from childhood and we'll talk about it later. But, you know, in our dynamic, that showed up and still shows up sometimes, but I think a little bit less now shows up as me kind of like throwing the grenade. Like me wanting to attack or engage or tussle, not always in healthy ways with Jason. And I don't know, you can say you're a part of that.

Jason Lange: I think my part actually generally comes first, which is first I solidify into a wall. As she often says, sometimes talking to you is like talking to a wall. And that's the first part, though. Then she throws the grenade. And I think part of what's actually harmed us is then sometimes I'll jump on the grenade and make it all mine. And then that doesn't leave any room for actual connection or healthy feedback because then I've just basically imploded in on myself from this explosive. And that's part of our dance. You know, I think we called it the wall and the grenade. And it's something we've had come up multiple times throughout our relationship, sometimes stronger than others, sometimes more refinements to that, but something we've had to learn to work as a couple and with help and with support in doing that. And I think a big part of what we want to talk about today is like the yes, maybe you have a relationship and maybe it's okay. You know, maybe it's doing all right, like you get along with your partner, maybe you're raising kids and you're good co parents, but there's something missing in between of like, well, what actually makes us lovers, not just parents together. And I think that's part of where a lot of the work becomes with couples long term and why we're kind of here today to talk about a possible path forward for you in a new program we're launching called Evolutionary Couples, which my wife Violet has been doing a lot of the heavy lifting on behind the Scenes to kind of get all the structure together based on our own journey and different learnings and teachings. We've each had me working with men, her working with women, and really boiling it down to like, yeah, if you wanted to drastically improve the quality of your relationship, but you only have about two hours a week, like, what's that going to look like? What does that actually look like when you're in a busy life, and maybe you have kids or you have a job, or you're both traveling and have a lot of stress in your lives. How do we actually prioritize relationship? And this program that we're putting out there is one really powerful way to do that.

Violet Lange: And I just want to highlight, you could be at varying stages in your relationship, both in terms of duration, but also in terms of intensity or things that are coming up. And you may have heard Jason talk about this on the podcast. There are different labels we could use. I guess we could say codependent is one type of relating where it's really hard for you to break away from each other. You're entrenched, your trauma patterns are entrenched, and you don't have a lot going on outside of the relationship, often because it's too threatening to your partner or to yourself or to the relationship. And while that may seem okay on the surface, because those couples tend to stay together for quite a long time, there is not a lot of honesty, authenticity, and growth. It just becomes like a survival strategy to bond in these oftentimes unhealthy ways. And then there's independent relationships where, yeah, you're together, but you have pretty different lives, or you don't necessarily go to your partner to get your needs met. You're like, oh, yeah, I get my emotional needs met from my girlfriends, and I get my physical needs met at the gym. Or, you know, in other ways, I get my mental needs met at my work. And. And my partner and I are kind of, like, side by side doing our own thing, but we're not really connecting with each other. And in some ways, this is an evolution from a codependent relationship because you're not quite entrenched in so much trauma. But that type of relationship often leads to divorce or not staying together, because there's not really any glue. There's not the trauma bonding, but there's not also any other type of glue happening. So I would say, like, in my first marriage, obviously before Jason, about eight years before I met Jason, is when I got divorced, we were very independent. We didn't really communicate a lot. We didn't have a lot of physical or emotional intimacy. And then things just totally dried out in all ways. And that's not to say that, you know, there weren't other issues under the surface, but you might identify with. With one of those two, or you might identify with the third kind of category of relationship, which is interdependent, which means we depend on each other. And we depend on ourselves and we have a life outside of the relationship that we can bring to the relationship to inspire each other to grow, to work through our patterns, to provide and create an impact in the world. So wherever you are in those three categories, the work that we're talking about today can really help, because every relationship has opportunity for growth. It's just that the intensity of the patterns can sometimes show up in different ways. And the outcome, outcome can show up in different ways. You know, do you want to be in a relationship that has no juice, but you're kind of just in it for the kids for 20 years? I would, I would hope not. Like, I would want more for you. Do you want to be in a relationship where you're like, really in it together, but it's kind of toxic and you fight all the time, or you're worried about the impact it's having on your children to see this kind of relational dynamic play out. Or maybe you're in that other category I mentioned and you're like, yeah, we're interdependent, but we're hungry for more. We want to grow. We want to be the best we can. We have like a big vision for ourselves and our lives, and we want to share that with others.

Jason Lange: And so this program is kind of born out of our own experiences and our experiences having guided clients, sometimes together with their partners and sometimes alone. And just one frustration a lot of men that have ended up working with me have come forward with is they do actually put in the time and get their partner to agree to go to maybe see some couples therapy, get a. Get a counselor. And that can be tremendously valuable to have that neutral third party on the outside. It's, it's someone we, we have our therapist on a bat dial. We've seen her many times throughout challenging portions of our relationship. And she's a huge champion, an ally for us. And that's very possible. But sometimes there's the experience some of our clients have had if they go to therapy and their therapist has no real plan for where to take them. So instead it's. It's kind of coming in and each person just kind of vomits what's not working in the relationship. And then they're left at the end. Like, I don't, I don't really feel any closer and more connected or more equipped with how do I deal with my partner and our problems back out in the world. And so this is where there's a skill building component, an actual structure to how do we bring this stuff into our lives. That is part of what inspired us to create a program which is really centered around this idea of 12 epic dates. So 12 guided experiences you can go on with your partner to increase basically all the best parts of relationship. Erotic energy, polarity, intimacy, sameness, novelty play. We're kind of bringing it all forward in the program where it's an actual journey you go on. So show up and you do this, you show up and you do this. And in that process, you build an actual capacity skills that will stay with you well beyond those 12 epic dates. And that then, if you choose, you can kind of wrap that journey in a container of getting actual support from us and being immersed in the program with other couples who are also going on that journey. Because if there's one thing we've certainly found is really important in creating that kind of co interdependent relationship she talked about, it's that the brutal truth is both partners are responsible for showing up to their time together. The very little time you may have in your relationship, it's each partner's individual responsibility to show up with enough energy and resource and presence in their body to actually be there. And so that's something I can't do for my wife and she can't do for me.

Violet Lange: Right.

Jason Lange: There's ways we can support each other in doing that, but there's a level of we have to learn to take care of ourselves. Which sometimes for me, very much looks like me going off and being with my men in men's groups, on retreats, doing my practices, taking time off and for her to go be with her women friend and go on retreats and do practices and get into the world and resource herself in the way she needs to resource. So then when we do have time together, we can actually be there for each other. And that's all woven into our program. When you do the guided group part with us, in that you're going to have time with us as a couple. The men are going to have time with me independently with the other men, and the women are going to have time with just Violet and the cohort of women there. So we're each getting to have a space just for ourselves and a space together while we're going on this journey and exploration through the evolutionary couples program and 12 epic dates.

Violet Lange: Yeah. And what we have found is that different times in your relationship, you need different things. So sometimes we needed a lot more erotic energy. And having that polarity actually decreased a lot of the bickering or a lot of the Little patterns that we were noticing because we. We had forgotten just about our passionate connection or life had kind of gotten in the way. And then there were other times where there was fundamental things we needed to look at and shift related to finances, related to parenting, related to how we healed our resentments or even talked about our resentments and worked through conflict or how we infuse more creativity and play. There's this David White, who's a poet quote that says the lowest form of relationship is a logistical team of two. And that really hit home for me because I just can see how easy it is and it has been for us too, to just focus on getting by. Like getting by with parenting, getting by with finances, getting by with the time we spend together, but without that added energy and aliveness and intentionality and skill like he talked about, then it's just. The relationship is just another check the box. And it's not really living to its full potential and it's not supporting us as individuals to live to our full potential too.

Jason Lange: In, you know, behind this whole idea of our program and what we're creating and just what we buy in and believe. It's, you know, unfortunately, I've talked about this on some episodes before. Might be you, might not be you, but for a lot of couples, it's surprising. Yeah. At. At the bottom end, their relationship is like a war. It's just this constant battle with each other where you're getting triggered and defending and protecting and it's quite dysregulating up to the middle, which is kind of that. Yeah. That logistical team of two. Yeah, we're kind of best friends. We're good co parents, we get along. There's not any acute problems, but there's not much passion, there's not much novelty, there's not much energy, there's not much devotion. And that's probably the sweetest spot to be doing a program like this because then we can take you beyond that to really taking on your relationship as a path of growth, as a way to deepen yourself and open yourself up to the fullest version of who you can be in the context of your relationship. In that all these triggers and problems and frictions and conflicts, they're actually the pathway in to greater intimacy and connection. And the more you can go right into those, the more you're going to get closer to each other, which, lo and behold, will often create so much more safety and allow all that erotic energy and passion to flow through in ways that sometimes maybe it never has before. But the idea Is the growth is part of the point of a good relationship, that it helps us grow and see ourselves and become whole versions of ourselves. And that when we're both holding that, and then when we wrap it in this greater container of, you know, our relationship having a purpose, which is something we work on in the program, suddenly.

Violet Lange: It'S.

Jason Lange: What'S so powerful is your relationship should be a source of regulation in your life. You all know there's plenty of stress coming at you from the outer world or from your kids or from your work or from culture. There is just so much we have to deal with. So ideally, our relationship becomes a place of solace for that, where we can get resourced in our connection with each other so that we can be more available, more spacious, more present back in the world. And that shift is possible when you have the right tools and structure and community to pull it off, which our Evolutionary Couples program is really aiming to do.

Violet Lange: And I just want to speak to. Jason had mentioned that he works with a lot of men who get their partner to therapy, but then they realize therapy isn't exactly moving the needle for them. I just want to speak to the perspective of a lot of women that I work with in partnership, and some of their frustrations are oftentimes that they just want more from their partner. You know, the feminine is said to be insatiable. I can vouch for that from my experience. And I know that a lot of women I work with, and myself included, when we are not feeling fulfilled in our relationship and in our lives, it's very easy to nitpick our partner and look for what's wrong or how he could be leading better or just take over, just kind of take over the relationship, take over the. The driving force of the relationship. And then the more we do that, the more he kind of like leans back and feels unneeded or gets in a shame spiral or these things. And sometimes that wanting more can look like wanting more sexual intimacy. Sometimes it can look like wanting more novelty in the relationship. Sometimes, though, it often, or oftentimes, I should say, it looks like the feminine wants more adoration, wants more, you know, acknowledgement. Once more to be able to feel softer with her partner, wants to be able to not do it all, wants to be able to kind of show up in her messiness, but maybe either hasn't learned how to do that, hasn't given herself permission to do it, or the relationship hasn't grown to a place where she feels safe showing up in a fully embodied and authentic and emotional way. And obviously that journey continues. You know, I think we're all on a journey to discover the more authentic version and pieces of ourselves. But if you find yourself feeling easily frustrated with your partner or your relationship, or you find that a lot of your social circles, like book clubs, club or wine night, or, you know, hanging out with another parent from your kid's classroom kind of devolves into husband bashing, or, you know, being really frustrated about your relationship, like, that's a sign, not that there's something wrong with your partner, but that there's a new level of growth and opportunity and closeness that's waiting to be tapped into in your relationship. And you don't have to wait for your partner to say, like, hey, you know, things are good, but, like, they could be better. You can say, you know, I want more. I want more in our relationship. I want more in our lives. Here's a vision I have, or I don't even know the path forward other than I just know I want to do something with you, or else I'm just not feeling fulfilled, you know, and that lack of fulfillment sometimes is because we're not in touch with ourselves. And there's lots of work that we can do with ourselves and with other women, kind of like Jason mentioned. But oftentimes it's an opportunity to deepen as a couple. And I know how scary that can be sometimes because you don't always know what's on the other side of that. Um, but I can guarantee that if you don't do something as a couple and to put energy and time and. And awareness into your relationship, that your relationship will suffer. You know, one of the most foundational parts of our life that we spend so much time creating, so much time trying to find the right partner for us, we just kind of coast. Like, it would be like if you had a car and you never put gas in it and you never rotated the tires and you never cleaned the windshield, even after a big storm, and you never washed it and vacuumed it, and you just expected it to, like, feel good and work whenever you wanted it to. And then you bring in a couple's therapist who's like a mechanic, and they might say, yeah, well, I can do some work on this for you, but it's going to be XYZ amount of money, and even at the end of that, your car will be better for, like, four months, five months, six months. But it's not going to be a foundational change the same way it would be if you learned how to take Responsibility for your car in quotations. This is a metaphor for your relationship. And learn how to put gas in the tank. You know, how to make things feel sexy when you want. And how to do kind of that not always fun work, but clearing resentments or cleaning out the car. Jason and I laugh because I'm very neat and tidy, usually as a person, but the car is the one place where I just let it all go. Of old cores of apples or banana peels, Q tips, random stuff in the car. So as I'm saying this metaphor, I'm laughing at myself because obviously I. I have work to do on my own maintenance of my car. But the point is that we spend so much energy and time and money getting married and finding our partner and building a family, and it warrants our attention and our love.

Jason Lange: So what are some of the things a couple could look forward to if they did 12 epic dates or the full evolutionary couples program?

Violet Lange: What are going to be some of.

Jason Lange: The themes we hit?

Violet Lange: Yes. So 12 epic dates I'm super pumped about, because one thing Jason and I have found is that we have, a lot of times, a great intention. You know, our intention is to love each other better. Our intention is to have more passion in our relationship or more trust. But we don't always have the structure, and it's not really fair for me. But sometimes I do expect him to provide the structure. And again, that's not really fair because he can't do all of that, nor should he have to. And we have found that when we do something together, either an activity that one of us has created and we're leading the other person through it or to it, or especially when we've done, like, workshops or things with other couples or things that are, you know, online courses and programs, it's like, oh, someone else is holding the structure. This is so nice. Like, it can actually feel you, and he can feel me and. And feel each other's hearts, is what I'm trying to say with that. And so my kind of dream is always that someone has a structure that we can go through and then that we can feel held in to work through all of the messy stuff, but also to cultivate more fun and more joy and more playfulness. So my intention and our intention with creating this is that we want to hold the structure for you so that you don't have to worry about who's leading, who's doing more in the relationship, who didn't do the dishes last night. Like, the way that it's designed is half of the dates are led by the masculine partner. Half the dates are led by the feminine partner. And if you have a more gender fluid relationship and you want to divvy it up a different way, or one person wants to be the masculine a certain number of dates and the feminine a certain number of dates, that's fine too. But the idea is that it's shared leadership, shared responsibility. And sometimes in the polarity world, there's this idea that the masculine is leading the relationship. And that's not really true in my belief or my experience. You both have an opportunity to lead, but in different ways. You know, you don't have to lead in the exact same way. But six of the dates the feminine is leading and it is themed dates. Those, these are dates where we're guiding you through a particular topic. So Jason had mentioned therapy and we have a therapist that we absolutely love. We kind of see as needed. She's our mechanic, you know, for our, our vehicle of our relationship. But I remember asking her in 2018 about finances because we were getting, we were getting challenged about that. There was some reverse polarity, some finance stuff. And she was like, oh, I don't deal with that. You'll have to find someone else. And I totally respect her boundaries. I think that's very self aware. But I would have liked to have structure. I would have liked to have someone say, yeah, you know what, you might want to meet with someone who, it's their core area of expertise. But here are the five things you can do to help. So we've had to do that work on our own bits and pieces. And now one of the dates is how do you work through finances and how do you create abundance. It's not just about how do we budget and how do we survive. It's about how do we create a lifestyle that's prosperous and that feels generative and where we can be generous, whether it's donating or volunteering or creating something for your community. So that's one example of a themed date, but other ones are adventure, creativity and play, sex, conflict resolution and repairing. When we do have a rupture and things like chores, parenting, the not so sexy stuff, but the stuff that really needs to be functional. You can't just work on the polarity, although I love the polarity part, you need to have at least solid foundation in these areas. So those six themed dates, and then there's six polarity dates. And the polarity dates cover everything from like primal energy, you know, kind of like erotic wild energy, to spiritual energy, you know, how do you see your partner as a God or a goddess? And then how do you find them attractive? And how do you make love from that place? You know, how do you bring that energy into your physical forms and give and receive pleasure from that place? So the polarity dates are led by, in this 12 epic day program, led by the masculine partner. And when I say led, I mean that you will get clear guidance through our videos and through our content for each of these dates. What to do in advance, what to bring to the date, what you need to tell your partner in advance, if they have a way they're supposed to dress, or a time they're supposed to show up, or a place that you're supposed to meet. So we have done all of the thinking for you, all of the heavy lifting for you. We've literally mapped it all out. And you just get to show up and receive, or show up and lead in a way that's pretty simple for the partner who's leading that particular date. And we have it structured ideally so that you do two of these dates a month. We feel like if you can spend two hours a week on your relationship, one week it's on a date that's a themed date. One week it's on one of our couples calls as part of this course. One week it's on a polarity date, and then the next week it's on either a men's call or a women's call. You know, that's the two hours a week that we're talking about that can have huge impact. They've actually done studies that say couples therapy is helpful. Yes, but it's not as helpful as learning something together or doing an activity together. Those are the inputs that couples say they get the most out of, that move the needle the most on their relationship and that increase their fulfillment and their happiness and their longevity, their, you know, their ability to stay together as a couple. So that's the structure. And like I said, there'll be videos that are walking you through everything. It will also be written out. So it's very simple and easy to see. And then we'll be demonstrating. You know, there's authentic relating prompts or basically emotional intimacy prompts that we'll be demonstrating. And there are certain embodiment practices, embodiment practices to open your heart, embodiment practices to unlock prosperity, embodiment practices to, you know, get more connected to your erotic energy. And we will be guiding you through those so that you don't have to wonder what to do next.

Jason Lange: And what's beautiful about what we've structured here is maybe you're a couple who's extremely busy and has very little time or bandwidth. Right now. You can do just the 12 epic dates program by itself. So that's all self paced. So you and your partner are just going to go through that, which means you get to kind of schedule it out, pick the times that work best for you. Maybe it takes longer than the allocated time because you get to move at your own pace, fully with that. And then if you want even more, you can join the Evolutionary couples program, which is 12 epic dates and the community and coaching aspect wrapped around it. Where you're getting the group Q and A calls with all of us co ed, where you're getting the masculine only calls with me, and where you're getting the feminine only calls with Violet. So you can be also spending that time together as a couple, learning, hearing about what's happening with other couples and then also actually spending some time apart. Because when the masculine partner's on the call with me, he's going to be in his own space, right? They're going to be really diving in in that sense. And same thing with the feminine partner. And that space apart can actually create some of that polarity that we're going to be playing with there in the program. So it really scales to kind of what you want. You can do that self paced 12 epic dates just on your own, where you're like, yeah, we're going to do that or we're going to crank them out here. Or you can really join the cohort and move through this experience with some other incredible couples that can become your allies in helping you navigate the terrain of keeping passion and love alive for the long term.

Violet Lange: And you can Even do the 12 epic dates over the course of a year if you want. You can space that out however it works best for you. Maybe you're going through a really busy time, or you just had a baby, or, you know, one of you changed jobs or you're dating long distance. Like all of that is totally fine. It's yours for as long as you need it. You know, you can honestly do those dates again and again. We've done those dates time and time again. They don't get old because your responses to the prompts and the types of activities, you do have so much flexibility and creativity in them that every time you would do a date like that, you would actually have a different experience. It's not formulaic, although we have mapped everything out for you. And sometimes in our couple coupledom, Jason has reflected back. You know, I think what you're looking for right now is actually more feminine, feminine type of nourishment. I can't give you what you're looking for because I might come to him with kind of a very tender heart, wanting a lot of kind of doting or comfort or being seen in a certain way. And he's great at like seeing me and seeing, you know, his clients and all of that. But I think sometimes we come to our partner for every single need. And what I was needing was actually mothering. So being with my female friends, being in containers that are specifically women's groups where we get to process our emotions, work with our rage, reconnect to our own sensuality beyond just needing our partner to turn us on, that is actually huge. So by individuating a little bit and having time for yourself, that's not just about self care and not just about, you know, bitching with your girlfriends. These intentional breaks where it's just you and the same sex can be deeply restorative and help reset the balance in your relationships. You're not expecting your partner to be both your mother and your father, but they get to show up as your lover and your king or your queen.

Jason Lange: And that when we do all that together in community, it adds just a whole nother leg of support to our foundation and our relationship in that, you know, it does take a village in some sense to raise a family, but I think it does as well to keep a relationship alive and healthy and thriving. And if you don't have other couples in your life that share the context of, you know, what we're really calling evolutionary coupledom, right? This idea that, yeah, we're going to use the vehicle of our couple, of our relationship to keep ourselves growing. It can be pretty isolating and pretty lonely. And so the communal aspect here can be so healing in its own right. For one, you can just discover like, oh, we're not the only ones that have this issue. It's actually totally normal that some of these frictions come up in long term relationships and that we're not alone. Right. And how do you guys deal with that? Oh, you deal like that. Like this. We deal with it like this. And there's just that beautiful opening that we've both seen in all of the group work we've led over the years, whether it's with men, women, or couples in between. So if this is something you're excited about, it's time to sign up. You can check out all the information you need about the program at Evolutionary Couples Us. And it's all one word, Evolutionary Couples Us. We'll have the links here in the show notes. And on there you can see the structure for the program, how it's going to be laid out, a little bit more of our story. The option to just do 12 epic dates. The option to do the full Evolutionary Couples program with the cohort. You can even go all the way up and do private coaching with us in addition to all of that. And it's got the start date, which I believe is October 19th. And we have an early bird rate going until, I think, October 7th.

Violet Lange: Our anniversary.

Jason Lange: Yes, our anniversary. So you can get a little discount if you sign up before then. And there's a way to contact us, too. So if you have any questions, just to reach out. And, you know, I'm going to speak particularly to the men out there. If you've gotten feedback right from your partner that, hey, I want more, I need something more. This is an incredible opportunity to be proactive and say, hey, this might feel a little uncomfortable or a little vulnerable, a little edgy, but I want us to go through this experience together so we can feel closer, so we can grow closer to each other. And so I can learn the tools I need to do to be able to show up to you with more presence. And so you can learn the tools you need to do to be able to show up to me with more love, you know, quite frankly, and that we can learn to play with those energies and appreciate each other for what we're each bringing to the table in this relationship.

Violet Lange: And I also just want to say that if you feel like, ah, I don't know, like, what are we getting ourselves into? There's nothing we will ask you to do that we would expect you to do that you wouldn't feel comfortable with. You can opt out of any of the activities. They are mainly PG and PG13, with some other options thrown in there that are always just options. And this is kind of like your toolkit or your menu that you can go to. And every relationship is in a rough patch because you will have those skills on repairing and on bringing up difficult conversations, but also on turning up the eat and turning up the spice and falling back in love with your partner again and again and again. And I just want to speak to the community part. You know, we talked about structure. Like, we want to have a structure that holds you both. The 12 epic dates being very structured and laid out. But also these community calls for couples and individual ones for men, individual ones for women. That's creating a culture, right? When we have a structure and a culture that's holding us, things get a lot easier in this modern world. A lot of couples are just kind of doing it on their own, trying to figure things out, trying to heal their ancestral trauma, trying to do a better job than their parents did with them, raising their kids. And it's not always easy. We don't always see a lot of role models, like, yeah, I want a relationship that's aspirational. Where do I look to find that? You know, when I talk to my clients and to my friends, like, who inspires you? Whose relationship inspires you? There's not a lot out there. And I would actually say the same for me and Jason. Like, I could maybe name five couples, and I'm like, yes, I would want a relationship like that that is inspiring to me, that feels authentic or good for me. And I'm not trying to bash relationships just to say that it is hard. It is hard to create a healthy relationship and to sustain a loving, healthy relationship. So being around other healthy couples, other couples who are growing, other couples who are vulnerable with themselves, with each other, with the group, is really helpful, because sometimes we just need to know what's possible. We need to know we're not alone. And we need to know that there's a structure holding us, but also a field, a field of love, a field of possibility, a field of connection that's guiding us on our path in subtle but also, you know, really profound ways.

Jason Lange: So definitely check it out. Evolutionary couples, us. And until next time, if you're interested in working with me around dating relationships or your masculine presence in the world, just go to Evolutionary men. Apply.