One massive frustration and pain I often hear from guys that chat with me is that they just don’t get it– they tell me they’re solid guys in good enough shape with stable jobs – and yet they just can’t seem to attract the women they really want. Usually it’s not until we start digging deeper down into their life that the really important stuff starts to come out:
They’re often also stressed, depressed, worn out, not totally over an ex, or navigating a challenging divorce etc – all things that at their deepest roots impact a fundamental aspect of creating attraction in dating and relationships: your somatic experience.
In what I’m talking about here – your somatic experience is simply how you tend to feel in your body. IE, tight, hollow, sad, anxious, etc.
Many men I work with walk around feeling like absolute shit a lot of their life, and they wonder why women aren’t attracted to them. Us men often tend to get “gripped” – stuck in thought loops in our heads, repressed or numbed emotions in our hearts, and physical tension throughout our body.
And if feeling those things are your day to day experience, attraction is going to be something hard to come by. Our physiology DOES NOT LIE, and when we don’t feel good in our experience; be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually – others around us will notice.
Again, if what the person you’re pursuing notices in you is the fact that your somatic experience is GRIPPED by something, or that your body is tight, attraction will be the furthest thing from their mind.
Attraction and sexuality, whether in man or woman, flows from a relaxed and open nervous system.
Too many men want to skip this part – and hope that if they just find the right partner they’ll suddenly magically feel better in their day-to-day.
The good news is, you have a tremendous amount of control over your nervous system and life when it comes to unwinding your somatic system so you have more space moment to moment. Note, this doesn’t mean you don’t still get sad, angry, sore, stressed, or have deep feelings. It just means your bodymind isn’t GRIPPED by those things, and they move through you faster.
If you want to attract the partner of your dreams, you must take responsibility for what is gripped in your nervous system, you must become aware of your somatic experience and start to unwind it right now!
If you want help, reach out for a free discovery call. This is only for you men that are seriously ready to break open your body, heart, mind, and soul to take back control of your love life FOREVER.