In the past year of helping men transform their dating and relating life with women, it’s become clearer than ever to me there’s one huge piece a lot of guys get on an intuitive level but don’t always fully acknowledge and that’s this:
Your dating shifts must come from the inside-out to truly have lasting impact.
What does that mean?
Well, a lot of dating advice, coaching, and “pick-up” teachings all focus on external things, and are OUTSIDE focused changes. IE:
- What to wear
- What “lines” to say
- How long to wait before “texting back’
- How to write a profile that stands out
- How to appear like an “alpha”
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that all per say, other than it barely scratches the surface of what’s truly possible when it comes transforming the ways you interact with women. And the truth is, even though some of the “canned” outside oriented stuff sometimes works, it RARELY works on the smart and sexy women most guys are ultimately longing to meet.
At Evolutionary Men, we primarily focus on INSIDE-OUT transformation. Meaning, when you transform your experience of YOURSELF, getting clearing about who you are as a man, what you want in a relationship, and where you’re headed in your life, you will immediately begin attracting women in a different way. Wholeness attracts wholeness, and NO AMOUNT of outside focused “dating techniques” will break the deep patterns of attraction we often get stuck in.
The truth is INSIDE-OUT transformation is HARDER than the outside focused stuff. It takes more bravery, vulnerability, and willingness to ready dive into our experience of ourselves and how we’re showing up in the world as men. Intimate relationship (including dating) is one of the most intense crucibles for brining up our unresolved “‘stuff” from our past. Wherever we’re out of alignment in our lives will almost inevitably show up somehow in our dating patterning.
Not a lot of dating coaches really want to talk about this stuff in my experience, even though most guys fundamentally get this at an intuitive level. I’ve talked to hundreds of guys in the last year, and MANY of them have tried the dating guidebooks, listicle articles, pickup techniques, etc, and always known deep down it felt a little off, inauthentic, and ultimately wasn’t addressing their root issues.
Truly transforming your dating life requires looking at EVERYTHING in your life, your childhood patterns, your Diet, the ways you self-soothe, your career/purpose, your friend community, how you communicate, what you think about yourself, etc.
But the good news is this, INSIDE-OUT transformation is LONG LASTING and leads to attracting more quality partners. WHOLENESS ATTRACTS WHOLENESS, hands down. Healing ourselves, integrating our masculinity, and getting our lives in alignment is the most POWERFUL thing we can do as men to attract the partner of our dreams.
Once done, it renders all the OUTSIDE oriented techniques MOOT, and your own inner intuition is ALL you will need to know how to attract a woman, what to say to her, when to communicate, and so forth.
And here’s the bad news / hard truth: this inner stuff WILL NOT magically fix itself, and it TAKES WORK.
My own journey took TEN YEARS of doing everything under the sun in the personal growth and transformation world. The good news is though it DOESN’T have to take that long, which is why I’m now working with men in our signature dating transformational program, Pillars of Presence.
The guys we’ve worked with in the last year have proven that digging deep inside and rewiring your nervous system by following our curriculum, getting guidance from us as mentors, and getting support from a tribe of men at your side can transform you from the INSIDE-OUT in weeks, not years.
If you’re ready to see what inner blocks at preventing you from getting the sex & love you want, reach out for a free discovery session. We’ll get clear on exactly what’s not been working in your love life, and if it’s a good fit talk about a plan to change you from the inside-out.
PS if you want to get a deeper sense of some of the shifts in inner work I’m talking about, make sure to check out my free video master class.