All right, I was on The Derelict Podcast with Josh, and we went deep on why so many men are walking around emotionally constipated and what that costs us.
We covered a lot of ground. I shared my own journey, growing up with emotional neglect and having no clue how to connect with women or even other men. That isolation followed me into my 20s until I found men's groups and somatic therapy, which completely changed the game for me. I talked about the three failing models most men get handed: the macho jerk, the nice guy, or the stoic grandfather who just stuffs everything down. None of those work.
The conversation moved into what real presence actually is, not the fake confidence bullshit, but the kind of grounded nervous system regulation that makes people want to be around you. We got into how emotions are sensations in the body first, and most men have never been taught what to do with that. So we avoid, we numb out, we push it down. And it accumulates like kindling, waiting to ignite at the worst possible moment.
Josh and I talked about the practice of actually feeling your emotions without collapsing into them or armoring against them. Learning when to posture, when to collapse, and how to do both skillfully. I shared how men need safe containers, usually with other men, to let that emotional charge move through completely. Three to five minutes of really going there can clear decades of buildup.
We also got into breath as the most fundamental practice you can do anywhere, anytime. Your breath is a portal back to the present moment, and it's something every man has access to right now.
If you're a man who knows something's off, who feels like you're going through the motions but not really living, get into a men's group. Seriously. Find men who are willing to go deeper with you. And if you want help with that, check out what we're doing at evolutionarymen.com.
