All right, so I was on this podcast called Couple O' Nukes talking about men's groups and why they matter so much. Really great conversation that covered a lot of ground.
We started with my own story of growing up pretty disconnected, emotionally and physically, and how that played out as I got older. I had no idea how to connect with people, especially women, and was walking around anxious and uncomfortable in my own body. That journey led me to men's work, and honestly, it changed everything for me.
One of the big things we talked about was this idea that masculinity is a transmission. You don't learn it from a book or a podcast, you discover it by being around other men who embody what you're reaching for. I'll never forget sitting in my first men's group across from this older guy in his 60s, just watching how grounded and present he was. I realized that's what I wanted. Not his job or his accomplishments, but how he was being in the world. And the wildest part is, just by being around him, my nervous system relaxed. That's the power of men's community.
We also got into dating and relationships, which is honestly what gets most guys off the couch to do some inner work. A lot of men today are confused about their sexuality and their desire because we've been taught that being attracted to women makes you toxic. But the truth is, it's not toxic to be attracted to someone. It's what you do with that attraction that matters. If you're objectifying her, using her to feel better about yourself, that's the problem. But if your heart is open and you're seeing her as a full human being, it's totally okay to share your interest. The key is presence, groundedness, being able to actually be there with her.
The main message I wanted to get across is that you don't have to suffer alone. Community is immunity. Real resilience comes from being deeply connected to other men who will support you, hold you accountable, and call you forward when you're not living up to your potential. When you move from isolation to connection, your relationships improve, your work improves, your whole life shifts.
If you're a man reading this and feeling stuck, isolated, or like you're just white-knuckling your way through life, find a men's group. They're way more accessible now than when I started this work twenty years ago. Google men's groups near you, check out Meetup or Eventbrite, or even connect virtually if that's all that's available. And if you want to check out what we're doing at Evolutionary Men, head to evolutionarymen.com. We've got groups, retreats, and a whole community of men doing this work together.
