What does it actually cost a man to chase success the way we've been taught to chase it? That's the question Maya Diamond and I dove into during this conversation, and it led us through some territory that felt both uncomfortable and necessary. We explored purpose, relationships, money, and what it actually means to integrate all of it without losing yourself in the process.
One thing that came up pretty early was this trap so many men fall into, myself included at various points. That whole escalator mentality of work harder now so you can enjoy life later. I work with a lot of guys who took that track and by their 40s or 50s, their marriages are falling apart, their kids barely know them, and their bodies are breaking down. The question becomes how do we define success in a way that includes our relationships, our presence with our kids, and our own aliveness, not just the paycheck?
GS shared his journey from 17 years in Silicon Valley to doing the work he loves now, and man, I could relate. I talked about my own messy transition when I tried to go all in on men's work and burned through all my savings in the process. That put massive strain on my relationship with Violet because I bought into this myth that if it's not your highest purpose, you shouldn't be doing it. Sometimes you need scaffolding. Sometimes you need to do both for a while. That was a hard lesson for me.
Zev brought some beautiful perspective on the spectrum of men, from the guys who default to work and go blind to everything else, to the more sensitive guys who can get flooded and struggle to even show up. We talked about how our lineages shape us, how little boys start out with this incredible sweetness that gets conditioned out of them, and how we're all trying to reclaim that while still honoring what drives us.
If you're feeling the tension between what you're building and what you're meant to be building, or if you're trying to figure out how to show up for your people while still pursuing something meaningful, this conversation might land for you. If you want to work with me around purpose, relationships, or your masculine presence in the world, just head to evolutionarymen.com/apply.
