All right, and welcome back. I recently had the chance to sit down with Ashley Taylor on The Feminine Codes Podcast, and we dove deep into what it actually means for men to be embodied, present, and capable of creating real connection. This conversation hit on a lot of the core themes I work with men around, so I wanted to share some of what came up.
We talked about my own journey into this work, how I started out as a guy who had no idea how to talk to women, completely disconnected from my body and emotions. That eventually led me into men's groups and somatic therapy in my mid-20s, which totally transformed me. I started leading groups out of my living room in LA because so many men were hungry for this kind of space and there just wasn't enough of it available.
One of the things we got into was the cultural conditioning men receive from a young age. The man box, as we call it in men's work. All the messages that teach us to override what's happening in our bodies, to disconnect from emotions, to never show weakness. The research is pretty stark around this. Boys are parented differently, schooled differently, and rewarded for being disembodied. And then we wonder why so many men are isolated, exhausted, and struggling.
Ashley and I also talked about what embodiment actually looks like for men. It's surprisingly straightforward. Grounded in your body, particularly your lower body. Open in your heart, not armored up or collapsed. Aware of where your attention is going. The result is that deep presence where you're just here, feeling yourself, feeling connected, not dissociating or hiding. And here's the thing, when you're not aware of your own emotional state, your partner can't trust you. She can feel when you're bummed or shut down, and if you're saying you're fine when you're clearly not, her guard goes up. That lack of self-awareness kills connection and polarity.
We covered a lot more, including why men's groups and peer-based community are so critical, especially given the staggering stats around male suicide. If you're a man looking to get more grounded, more connected to your inner world, and more capable in your relationships, check out my work at evolutionarymen.com. And if you're a woman wanting to understand the men in your life better, this conversation might give you some useful context.
