What if the very thing we think makes us weak as men is actually what could make us the strongest fathers our kids will ever know? I got to sit down with Claire from Strong Single and Human right before Christmas, and we dug deep into this question, exploring what it actually means for men to show up differently in their lives, particularly for single fathers who are navigating both the challenge of raising kids alone and redefining what modern masculinity looks like.
We spent time unpacking the friendship recession that's hit men hard. The numbers are striking. Only 27% of men report having at least six close friends anymore, and the percentage of men with no close friends has jumped from 3% to 15%. For single dads especially, isolation can become this quiet crisis. You're working, parenting, exhausted, and the idea of making time for yourself feels impossible or selfish. But here's what I've seen over and over: self-care isn't selfish. If you're wiped out, you're no good to anyone, including your kids.
We talked a lot about men's groups, what they actually are beyond the stereotypes, and why they matter so much. A good men's group gives you two things: a place to be held when life is hard, and a place to get real accountability when you keep talking about something but not doing anything about it. It's also one of the few spaces where men get to be around each other without any demands on their attention. Nobody needs anything from you. You just get to be there. That's rare for most men, and it's deeply nourishing.
The other piece we got into is emotions. Most men were taught that feelings are weakness, that you should push past them, toughen up, stop crying. That accumulates over a lifetime and costs us energy, aliveness, and connection. Learning to feel again, to actually be in your body instead of constantly escaping it, that's some of the most powerful work a man can do. Not just for himself, but for his kids. Because when you change your relationship to your emotions, you're immediately teaching a different lesson to your children.
If you're a single dad, or any man really, who's feeling stuck or isolated, check out what we're doing at evolutionarymen.com. We've got men's groups, coaching, and a whole community of guys doing this work together.
