I had one of those conversations with Katherine on the Truth & Transcendence podcast that left me wondering why we don't talk about this more often. We dove into something I've been thinking about for years: why every single man should be in a men's group, and what happens when we're not.
We talked about the epidemic of male loneliness that's quietly destroying men's lives. The stats are brutal. One in five American men who aren't in a romantic relationship report having no close friends. And loneliness isn't just an emotional issue, it's literally killing us. It's as deadly as smoking a pack a day or being morbidly obese. It shortens your lifespan and accelerates mental decline.
I shared my own journey into men's work, starting from being a terrified, anxious teenager who couldn't talk to women, all the way to now facilitating men's groups and seeing firsthand what happens when men finally have a space to drop the armor. We explored how boys are conditioned from a young age to override their bodies, to be tough, to never show weakness. How the Industrial Revolution pulled fathers out of the home and broke the transmission of masculine wisdom from older men to younger men. And how that's left most of us wandering around without a clue how to be present, connected men.
One thing that really lands for guys in groups is that exhale that happens when another man looks you in the eye and says, "Yeah, I've been there too." No fixing, no judgment, just presence. That alone can be life changing. We also got into the cultural pressure men face, this invisible checklist of what makes you a "real man" that boxes us in from childhood. And how men's groups can start to rewrite those old patterns by giving us permission to actually feel what's happening in our bodies.
If you're a man reading this and you're not in a group, find one. If you can't find one, start one. Your life depends on it more than you realize. And if you want support with that or any of the work we talked about, reach out. I'd love to help.
