I had the chance to sit down with the Everyone Is Right podcast to talk about something that's been weighing on me lately. The pain of men, particularly in this cultural moment, and where that pain is actually going.
We covered a lot of ground. The ranking of pain and how destructive it's become when men feel like they're not allowed to suffer. Information overload and why uncertain times make us crave certainty, even from the wrong sources. The pre-trans fallacy and how powerful, agentic men can look the same on the outside whether they're coming from a healthy or unhealthy place. And that shift, the economic displacement happening for men right now, factory jobs gone, coding about to be mostly AI-written, leaving us in a world that demands relational skills most of us were never taught.
I talked about the man box, that conditioning from birth that teaches boys to disconnect from their bodies, override their feelings, stay tough. That disconnection is what creates the men who do real damage in the world. It's also what creates the men whose wives leave them at 50 because they've been present for nothing but a paycheck for 25 years.
What really got me going was this. We're being asked to be more fluid, more present, better parents, better partners, better men. And we should be. But nobody's teaching us how. Nobody's flooding resources into 0 to 5 year olds so we don't spend the next 40 years in therapy unwinding childhood wounds. Nobody's creating the models and containers where men can actually learn to feel their anger without collapsing or exploding, to cry without losing their power, to take responsibility without drowning in shame.
This is the work I do every day with men in groups and one on one. If you're hungry to do this differently, to step into real masculine presence, not the macho bullshit, check out what we're building at evolutionarymen.com.
