All right, so I was on the American Masculinity podcast talking about men's groups and why they matter so much. This is something I'm deeply passionate about because men's groups literally changed my life. I was this frozen, anxious guy in my 20s who didn't know how to feel anything, and it was consistent men's work that thawed me out and helped me find my footing.
We covered a lot of ground in this conversation. First, the basics of what makes a men's group actually work. Shared context and commitment are huge. You need guys who are clear on why they're there and willing to show up consistently. A group can only go as deep as its least committed member, and I've seen that play out over and over. We also talked about the difference between therapy and peer men's groups. They're not replacements for each other, they're complementary. Therapy is about receiving loving presence in one direction. A men's group is about exchanging that, learning to hold space for each other, and staying connected even when there's friction.
Shadow work came up too. At its core, it's just bringing to consciousness what's unconscious in us. The patterns we keep running that we don't want to be running. Why do I keep doing this thing? That's the question most guys are asking when they show up to shadow work.
One of the mistakes I see guys make when starting groups is not setting tight enough boundaries. Being too loose with attendance or not willing to interrupt each other for the sake of depth. The other big one is not weaving in clearings from the beginning. If friction builds up between guys and nobody addresses it, the whole group starts to leak energy and eventually falls apart.
My biggest passion right now is helping men start their own peer groups. Not groups I lead, but groups they own together. There's something rare and precious about that level of ownership and commitment. If you're hungry for this kind of connection and can't find a group that works for you, I'd say it's your responsibility to start one. Find two other guys who want it and commit to a time. That's how my group in LA started, and it changed everything.
If you want to experience what a structured men's group is like, check out my Men's Group Experience program. It's a 12-week container with five other guys where you get the whole framework in your bones. After that, you can decide if you want to keep that group going or bring what you learned to your local community.
