I joined The Meademusing's Podcast because I knew their audience needed to hear this: the epidemic of male isolation isn't just a personal struggle, it's a crisis that's literally killing men, and we can't afford to stay silent about it anymore.
We talked about the man box, this rigid set of expectations that tells men we have to be tough, never show weakness, never ask for help, never cry. And the brutal reality is this framework is literally shortening men's lives. Men are dying earlier, suicide rates are climbing, and a staggering number of men report having no one they can really talk to about what's going on inside them.
What really hit in this conversation was exploring how most men are taught to relate through what I call triangulation. We connect by having our attention on some third thing, a sports game, an activity, whatever. But we're not actually connecting with each other. So you can spend time with your buddies and come home feeling completely alone because you never talked about the fact that you just lost your job or your marriage is falling apart.
We also got into the healthy masculine, this third way between the old macho jerk and the overly nice guy who can't set boundaries. It's about being connected, to your body, to your heart, to other people, to the environment around you. It's having both your heart and your balls online, your capacity for deep connection and your power and drive in life.
I shared my own journey, growing up in a family with zero emotional connection, terrified of touch, completely cut off from my body. Getting into my first men's group at 26 completely changed my life trajectory. That's what inspired me to start leading groups, to create spaces where men can actually talk about what's happening inside them and realize it doesn't make you weak to ask for help. In fact, the most powerful men I know are really good at asking for support.
If you're a man who's suffering in isolation, or you know someone who is, reach out. Check out evolutionarymen.men to learn more about the groups I lead. Every man deserves a handful of guys in his life who really know what's going on with him.
