The idea that men need to "feel more" is completely backwards. In my conversation with Randy on The Rich Mind Podcast, we explored why the real issue isn't that men don't feel enough, it's that we've never learned to process what we're already feeling. We dug into generational trauma, what true embodiment looks like for men, and the hidden cost of walking through life completely cut off from our internal world.
Randy came in hot asking about how I got into this work. I shared my journey, growing up in the Midwest, pretty normal childhood on paper. But underneath there was this lack of emotional connection, lack of physical touch. I didn't realize it at the time, but that shaped everything. Fast forward to my teens and twenties, I'm anxious as hell around women, totally in my head, no idea what I'm actually feeling. That pain is what kicked off my real journey into men's work, somatic therapy, men's groups. The whole thing.
We talked about how trauma gets passed down, not just psychologically but literally in our DNA through epigenetics. Wild stuff. Like, you as an egg were in your mother while she was in your grandmother's womb. Your grandmother's nervous system state literally influenced you. That's how deep this goes.
What really got me fired up was talking about embodiment. We're raised as men to disconnect from our bodies. Stop crying, toughen up, push through. All that cultural conditioning. The problem is when you disconnect from your body, you disconnect from your heart, from your emotions. You end up stuck in your head. And that's where so much of the suffering comes from.
Randy asked about addiction, and I got real about my own porn use in my twenties. Most addictions are regulation problems. Men are using porn, alcohol, whatever it is, because they don't know how to be with what they're feeling. Nobody taught us. And that lack of awareness, that's what makes us unsafe to be around. A man who's not aware of his own anger is way more dangerous than a man who can say, I'm furious right now, my blood is boiling.
The antidote is men's groups, therapy, meditation, practices that slow us down enough to actually feel what's happening in our bodies. To build that awareness. Once you have awareness, you have choice.
If you're ready to do this work, to get out of your head and into your body, check out what we're doing at evolutionarymen.com. Men's groups, coaching, all of it. This stuff changes lives.
