There's a moment in every man's life where he realizes he's surrounded by people yet feels completely alone. I explored this profound loneliness that so many men experience in a recent conversation on the Personal Development Trailblazers Podcast, diving into why this happens and what we can actually do to change it.
We got into how men are typically taught to relate through what's called triangulation. Our attention's on the game, the activity, the drink, not on each other. So we can be spending time with people but still feel profoundly alone. That's part of why the stats around men's mental health and suicide are so stark. We're not actually connecting underneath the surface.
Men's groups have been transformative for me personally and for hundreds of guys I've worked with. It's about slowing down and getting real. What's happening in your life? What feels great? What doesn't? Where are you struggling? Simple stuff, but most men don't have anywhere to actually share that.
The good news is this work is spreading. There are groups popping up everywhere now, both in person and virtual. You can find local groups through meetup.com, Eventbrite, or organizations like the Mankind Project. Or you can just start one yourself with two other guys. That's honestly how I got going 14 years ago.
What keeps me doing this work is witnessing men come back alive. Seeing a guy share something he's held in shame for decades, and watching the relief wash over him when he realizes he's not alone. That other men can be allies, not just competition. It literally changes people.
If you're feeling isolated or like something's missing, check out my podcast Evolutionary Men or head to evolutionary.men to learn more about the programs and retreats I run.
