Become The Man They Never Thought You Could Be – Jason Lange and Lily Patrascu | Heal Podcast – Lily Patrascu

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): How would you like to become the man they never thought you could be? Jason Land will tell us how to do this. And Jason is a men's embodiment coach, group facilitator, Certified no More Mr. Nice Guy Coach and evolutionary guide. And he helps men drop in and wake up to deeper clarity in their life's purpose and relationships. And he believes every man should be in a men's group for the growth and support opportunities that they provide. So Jason, tell us about how someone can become their own ironman or their own idealized version of themselves. And perhaps how could they become the kind of man that their parents thought they could never be, their wife thought they could never be, their work colleagues thought they could never be. Follow me for more interviews with world's most innovative health change makers. To live your healthiest life ever.

Jason Lange: Yeah, absolutely. I think this is one of the big growth edges I see in the culture right now that a lot of men are wanting to become more. And the models we've had given to us as men are often just no longer sufficient. So in a lot of ways, men are being asked to grow. And if there's two areas that are often a little paradoxical or not obvious to men that I teach as to partly how we can do that, are one what I call embodiment. So it's the process as a man of learning to come down out of your head and actually live from your body, being connected to your body, which by extension means being connected to our feelings and our emotions. Something a lot of men are either scared of, judge, or just under trained in. And why this all becomes so important, right, is there's, there's a bunch of research these days that shows, you know, there's this thing called the vagal nerve. It connects our brain to our body. It's this bundle of nerves that goes down the center of our body. And oddly enough, if we considered it like a two way road, of those two lanes, only about 25% of the traffic actually goes from brain to body. About 75% of it goes from body to brain. So if there's one thing I know, a lot of men want to be in the world. And when we talk about becoming this best version of ourselves, it's, they want to be effective leaders. They want to be able to affect change in their families, their communities, their workplaces, the world in a way where they can lead it towards something better. And guess what? If you're not in your body, you're missing out on about 75% of the available given Data to you in any given moment that can help you make more informed decisions. So getting into our bodies as men makes us better, more effective, and more trustable leaders. Yeah. The second part I would share is, and this goes so heavily against a lot of male kind of culture, in a sense, is get into community. Meaning as men, we grow faster in relationships, Meaning as I teach it, right, getting into a men's group but getting surrounded by other men who can reflect to us how they are experiencing us and where we're off track from. The very things we say we want can be so effective because the masculine part of all of us grows through feedback and challenge. We try something and we see where did it hit the mark, where did it not in other men. Community can really help us see that in ways that sometimes guys are a little resistant to at first, but once they experience it, helps them really stay on track and get where they want to get faster.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. How can someone embody the idealized version of themselves?

Jason Lange: Exactly. I'm going to speak specifically here to men because that's who I work with. Right. And I think it's a slightly different experience, though there's some overlap here. And I break it down to three different parts. One, it's the capacity to get grounded in your body, to actually, like I said, be connected to your body in the moment, not just be floating around in your thoughts, in your head. So being grounded, right. It's that feeling of, wow, I'm here right now. And most people can feel that when a man is grounded and connected, because what it feels like is relaxation and trust and presence. Wow, this guy's really here right now. Then once we're grounded in our bodies and in the moment, the second part is bringing online this capacity to be open, to know how to receive and feel the connections of the people around us. So I'm feeling myself, my emotional body. I'm also attuning to whoever I'm with, noticing what their experience is in the moment. And it's through there, deep connection is created. And then the third part, when we're grounded in our bodies, when we're open in our feeling state, in our hearts, is learning how to control our awareness. Another way you can think about that is focus. It's the ability to put our attention on what we want in the moment by choice and contextually become aware of what's the most important thing, thing for me to be paying attention to right now. And when a man can do that, become grounded, open, and aware, he will show up as a version of himself that most people will be shocked by and actually be deeply attracted to and want to spend more time with.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): How can a man become more courageous? And I'm talking about courageous in potentially high conflict situations or perceived high conflict situations, let's say. One thing that has frustrated me a lot in relationships is actually ghosting and the inability of men to simply say, you know, like, I don't like you like that. Like, I don't like you that much. Like, let's not see anymore. Like, just to say that and to be like, okay. You know, like, I could be okay. I don't. I like. I know I like blondes or I like brunettes, or I like, I know women, or I don't know, you know, just to kind of be blunt about it and just say, you know, like, I don't like you like that. And then let's not see each other anymore, rather than just like ghosting, you know? And I find that a lot of men are simply cowards. Okay. And how does someone face that cowardice that they have and then turn it into courage? Because I think, like, I'm one of the most courageous people that I know, and I could never dream of doing that to any person. And I find. Why would you say that a lot of men are cowards?

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. So how does someone step up to this level of courage and awareness of their own behavior? Because I think a lot of people are justifying, like, a lot of men are justifying their. They're ghosting with, okay, I don't want to hurt her. So it's just better that I ghost or I block or whatever. And that feels kind of safer. How does someone, you know.

Jason Lange: Yeah, it's a cultural shift.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Yeah. To being the iron man. The courageous iron man that dares to have difficult conversations.

Jason Lange: Yeah. It takes training and practice. So a lot of men aren't going to want to hear this, but guess what? Get into therapy. Learn to talk about your feelings. Learn to get more comfortable with feelings. Again, the more comfortable you are with feelings, the more comfortable you're going to become with other people's feelings. This is the thing men do not get get into a men's group, learn to give and receive challenging feedback. This is a very important capacity. Or oftentimes another way we put this is mental. And women and humans can train in confrontational tolerance. Right. Meaning I can stay connected to you. Even when we're both wanting or feeling something that's not aligned, we actually have to practice this. And most men, most women, frankly, I know, never had that modeled in their families or their parents. Conflicts were just explosions or there was never any repair, or there was, there wasn't that capacity to be really present. But ghosting is one of the unfortunate things, I think, particularly because there's online and texting and there's all these ways you don't really have to engage with someone like you might have had to in the past. And to an extent, it's a cultural shift. Right. I work with men who are on the other side of it where all they do is get ghosted by partners. Right. They go on the first day and then they just never hear from them again. So I think it goes both ways. But where men can take the lead, like you said, is becoming more courageous and saying, hey, I know I don't like it when I am ghosted. So what I'm going to do when I date someone and I don't find it's aligned is I'm not going to do the same thing I don't like. I'm going to be direct and let them know. And it doesn't take a lot. Right. It can be a short sentence or two often just to create that closure rather than keeping you hanging. And if men take the lead in that, I think it could change the culture pretty fast. But if a man has never done that before, like I said, two easy, low hanging pieces of fruit, get into therapy, get into men's group and start to practice saying the vulnerable, hard thing. It'll make it easier to do back out in your life.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. One thing I respect the most about a man is his ability to say sorry and to forgive. And I don't think I've ever been in a relationship apart from one. Okay. Where the guy was like, so forgiving and so willing to kind of say, you know, I'm sorry. And then within five minutes, like the whole fight had blown over. And we could argue for four hours. Okay. We could like shout at each other. We could like say, okay, I don't like this, and you're doing this and this kind of thing. And we could argue for four hours. But then in five minutes the whole thing would be forgiven and forgotten and then, you know, we're back to like talking again. Right. Whereas what I've experienced generally with men is that one little tiny detail can be like, okay, that's it. I'm not going to talk to you for like two, three days. I'm just going to disappear. So how does someone get to this kind of elevated level of forgiveness and kindness and the ability to say I'm sorry? Because I think for men it can be hard to say I'm sorry because they need to feel respected. They need to feel. It's almost like their ego sometimes can be really high. And like, how do you say I'm sorry when even if you know like you're. It's your fault?

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. Can a man who genuinely feels inadequate, can he really step up to this kind of level to cope with the fact that normally men are supposed to be providers and let's say he's not making enough to even take her out, like to a meal and, you know, she can take him to 100 meals every day. And can a man like that, can he really, like, elevate to a point where he becomes acceptant of his role in her life and be okay with it? It's possible, yeah.

Jason Lange: He has to learn. He has to. It's not easy, but he has to do deep work around his shame, and he has to know, what is it I bring to the table? Regardless of that, what is it my partner is still longing for in her heart that all the success and money in the world can't get her? If he can't answer that question, he can't lead her. So he's got to work his shame and he's got to learn to answer that question for his partner. Most partners have something in that regard.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. How can a man who feels inadequate and compares himself with others, let's say if someone was to think about, okay, she could get actually someone who was rich, who was handsome, who is this? Who is that? You know, who is like 100 times better than me? How can they cope with that? Comparison trap.

Jason Lange: Yeah, it's poison. You know, I could say to men it goes as deep and as simple as the big dick contest. So many men get stuck in of who's got the bigger dick. And what does that mean? Like it's a real thing. This is a thing. This is the context boys and men are raised in. And we have to do the inner work to get clear about who are we, what is it we are bringing to the table? If we're not clear, we what we're bringing to the table. And I don't just mean the usual crap around money and providership, but what can we bring? There are plenty, right? There are plenty of women who have made lots of money over the centuries and years who have dated passionate artists. Why? Because of how they make them feel. How they make them feel, how she feels when he's with her. That's the thing you can do independent of your kind of typical success. You can learn to be the man that helps your woman feel more of what she wants to feel. And if you can do that again, particularly now, these days more than ever, it doesn't always look like he makes more money than her, but he's got to process his shame to do that. And where I've seen men be able to do this the most, paradoxically, is with other men. Bring this stuff, bring the insecurities, bring the shame, and learn to get connected to what we really care about and know what we have to offer. That's the thing that is so important a woman cannot get rid of our shame, right? So many men date hoping to get approval from their partners, and then they can finally feel good enough. No partner is going to be able to give that to you as a man. You, you have to do the deep inner work to know what makes you powerful, potent and present in the world.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): What are the biggest emotional struggles men tend to hide and how can they overcome them?

Jason Lange: Yeah, shame, like I said, is the biggest one. I'm not enough. I'm broken. Other people are better. I feel sad. I feel fear. Things that men are taught to hide from often the moment they're boys. You're tough. Get back up on your two feet. Stop crying. This is stuff boys are taught their entire lives. So what they do is they hold it inside. And that holding it inside often makes them it poisons. Them. Right. Men die faster, and this is a big part of that, I would argue. So for men, it's learning that your emotions are not something to be afraid of. And in fact, the more present you can become with your emotions, the more. The less they're going to control you. So learning how to work with fear, learning how to work with shame, learning how to work with anger, learning how to work with grief. The more we can actually metabolize and become present with these things, the more choice we have in our lives as men and the less we have to hide from them. So many men move through the world making decisions because they're afraid of feeling like failures. Right. And when we get comfortable with that emotional state, guess what happens? We don't make decisions to avoid failure, which means we take more risks, we're bolder, we take chances. We step into that place of courage, which actually does not mean what most people think courage means. I'm scared and I do it anyway. So the more intimate we get with fear, the more comfortable we make, become more comfortable we become taking courageous action in our life which will make you stand out as a man.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. When I was young, I used to be almost mute. Like, I was a very shy introvert. And I remember going on my very first dates, and I think I had about 20 dates with different people where I didn't say anything. And of course I didn't have a second date because nobody wanted to talk to me. Yeah, because they thought I had nothing to say. And I probably didn't have anything to say. And after a while, I remember that I had come up with a solution. So I wrote like, some notes on a piece of paper, and I had it in my pocket. So I like some. 10 topics, you know, so 10 topics I could talk about. And then so I had a first date that was like, really good because I was looking at my paper and I, you know, came up with something to say. And I find it kind of shocking how. How much I have progressed as a person from, like, that person that was, like, so shy and now speaking around the world. And that's why, like, introverts don't scare me. You know, Like, I really see so much depth in introverts and people who are shy and people who are unable to express their emotions because, like, if it can happen to me, it can really happen to anyone. And. But it needs to be to, like, a lot of work needs to happen in terms of transmuting that. Like, I also used to be the kind of person that let's say if I got upset, I would take maybe three days and I would still be upset about something. I would just hold it in. And I had a long term relationship for 14 years. And the thing that it taught me was like, how you can communicate your way through a lot of different issues and then you can transmute that pain and the negative emotions. Tell us about how can someone transmute, for example, shame into a powerful emotion that can help them turn into the ironman within. For me, for example, I find that I could have a lot of negative emotions sometimes. So I find I'm not jealous, for example, of other women's wealth or I guess, people's wealth in general. I am sometimes jealous of women's beauty when I find, let's say if I start, if I date someone and I know he likes brunettes and I'm a blonde, then every time I see a brunette that I think he would like, then I feel a little bit jealous, right? But the way that I transmute that jealousy is by like working on myself to be more glowy, to be fitter, to eat better, to like remove dark circles, to have more fun, and then just to remember with affirmations that I am actually a goddess. And now when I look at myself in the mirror, I think about like, okay, I'm a goddess and my body is amazing and I'm a great cook and I'm so smart and I'm having a lot of fun and you know what I mean? So like, I'm always trying to transmute those negative emotions into something positive. So tell us about how a man who is generally suffering from shame, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, whether it's emotional insecurity and feeling like, oh my God, everyone is better than me because I only make this much money or.

Jason Lange: Yeah. So I mean, the simple adage we often talk about is feel it to heal it. So you have to actually become strong enough to make contact with the feeling and not avoid it. And particularly with shame. The antidote to shame is connection. So you actually speak out loud to other human beings. The thing you're ashamed of. Shame is a social emotion, meaning shame is created in relationship. Right? If you were raised alone on an island with just animals and no other people, shame is not an emotion people would feel. We're taught it. Shame means there's something about me that I think disqualifies me or makes me unworthy of love or connection. So when we're able to voice that and still be received in love or connection, that starts to heal it. It's why I teach men to connect in community and in men's groups. But it is that capacity to grow closer to our emotions and learn not to feel them. So in the work I even do, right, I don't even consider negative or positive emotions. It's just like high notes on the scale and low notes on the scale. It's all just feeling. And the less we feel it, fear it, the more we can hold it. I'm feeling fear right now. I'm feeling shame right now. I'm feeling grief right now. And then we can learn to take action with it despite that. And again, this is an area where men in particular are very under trained because most men are taught their whole lives. Being in contact with an emotion makes you less of a man. So don't do that, certainly don't ever share about it because you'll be ostracized, bullied, judged, etc. So learning to work with that as men, it happens one on one with other people that we go deep with and we learn to actually feel the thing we're afraid of. And once we're no longer afraid of it, guess what doesn't run our life. And then we can make different choices. And that for so many men. Like I said, big part of our cultural change right now is men have been raised for generations to be taught that, that their worth is their ability to provide. And as we move into a changing global economy, AI and women making more money, guess what? If your whole identity as a man comes down to how much can I provide? You're going to be in a lot of pain and a lot of trouble. So you got to do the tough work now to learn what is it, what makes me me, what do I have to offer that exists beyond that? And the more relaxed we get into that as men, paradoxically, the more attractive we become. I'm very comfortable with who I am. Right. I don't need approval from the outside. Turns out when you can get to that place as a man, people often find you very attractive.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. Society empowers toxic masculinity. And even there's for example, this book that I read and I'm sure there's hundreds of more books like this that I read. It's called the Game by Neil Strauss and it's talking about how to conquer a woman, but literally by tricking her. Like for example, let's say if you like a woman, instead of like going to her and saying, oh, you look very pretty tonight, you like, basically compliment her friend and then say, oh, your nose. You compliment her friend and then you go to her and say, oh, you have something on your nose. You basically humble her. And it's like the whole thing is such so much crap. Like. And I think the worst thing is that this kind of thing works. Okay, that's the worst thing. And it's like, because there's this cycle of toxicity where men are encouraged to be bullies and ghosters and be toxic in general. And it works. Then it's like it's creating a cycle of, you know, like, we have to do what. It works, therefore I should be playing games and I shouldn't be replying within. I know I need to wait like 24 hours before I reply so that she can miss me and all these crap. And that's like, it's creating this cycle of, you know, like, being toxic is great, therefore I should be toxic. Because, you know, being the nice guy and so on will not lead to anything great. So what's your opinion about that? Like, what's the solution? Because really women want can say nice guys, but at the end of the day they may date the. The crap guy.

Jason Lange: Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, that Neil Strauss, the game pick up all that. Even the man that wrote that book doesn't teach that stuff anymore. He's well, well beyond that. But that kind of red pill culture of masculinity is domination. It's toxic. It's putting people down, it's controlling things. There's a huge resurgence of that in the culture right now because like I said, most men don't have a model of what it means to be healthy men in masculine presences. So there's a lot of people trying to teach. Well, just go back to how it was, you know, 40, 50, 60 years ago when women didn't have bank accounts and were just properties and baby making machines and all that toxicity comes from there. But what you've deeply intuited is why that stuff doesn't actually work, is it's teaching inauth, inauthenticity. It's not authentic. If I walk up to you and I have a pre done routine from the game so I can get you into bed, it's not authentic. And the next morning, guess what? I have to wake up next to you and you're a human being. And that's where all that crap falls apart because it doesn't actually teach authenticity and relational skills. So where men, like I said, can get ahead right now is. Yeah, it doesn't mean we have to just be part of My language or nice guys. Part of what we're being called to grow into is, like I said, that capacity for being grounded in our body and connected to our hearts. Most men think it's either or I can be sensitive in my heart, or I have to be the caveman, and I don't want to be the caveman, and I don't want to just be the pushover part of what men are being called to. This. This is kind of men's work language, so just stay with me here for a moment. But it's the capacity to be in touch with our balls and have heart, to be powerful, to say, I want this. Hey, don't talk to me like that. Don't treat me like this. But I also deeply care about what you're feeling, and I'm aware what I just said. That right there really hurt you or you're not feeling safe right now. So a man who has the fluidity to have both an open, attuned, caring heart and power, which means being connected to his desire, his. No, his sexuality. That all matters. His drive to create. And as men, we actually have to train, Train, actually practice. What does it mean to stay in my body and stay in touch with my power and learn how to stay open? Not this kind of postured, masculine, oh, I'm so tough. Look at me. Right? Or the kind of collapsed. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I don't want to say anything that would make you feel bad, but to be right in the middle, we. We call that a man being in his dignity. I have power and heart.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. How can a man get results with dating without being Mr. Nice Guy and without being Mr. Tough Guy? Like, what's. What's the perfect balance? And what's that guy called? Like a. Not a nice guy. I thought that that's what I want. Like a nice guy. Why being a nice guy?

Jason Lange: I work with a lot of nice guys.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Why is nice guy the bad word here?

Jason Lange: Nice guy is a bad word in that for some guys, they take it too far. So they're raised by. Or they see the men who are dominators and cause pain and destruction and aren't attuned. And so they go too far the other way, saying, I never want to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm never going to take the lead. I want you to do everything. I want you to feel safe. But what those men often don't do is set boundaries and tell you what they want. Just that simple. They don't set boundaries, and they don't tell you what you want. So what I often say is, it's, it's, it's a kind man power. And say, no, a kind man is someone that can be in his power but tell you the uncomfortable thing, right? A kind man would say, wow. I know we've been dating, you know, for a couple weeks now, and I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together. And I'm very clear I'm not feeling this moving forward. And I just wanted to let you know that it's actually kinder to you long term to tell you the truth than to ghost or go away or keep, you know, keep you on the hook and lead you along. And again, a lot of men just aren't taught how to do that. So it's not about stop. What I tell nice guys I work with is you don't have to stop being nice. You just, you have to stop abandoning yourself. If you're being nice at the expense of your self worth, your boundaries, your yes, your no, your desires, you're not actually being nice to anyone. Then what a lot of nice guys are actually doing, when I say nice guy, I'm talking about a very specific thing, is they're manipulating. Right? I'm actually trying to control you with my niceness. Right. This is another dating strategy. If I'm just super nice to you and I keep buying you meals, at some point you'll have to give me sex, right? You'll see how nice I am. But I'm never going to ask for it. I'm never going to lead you. And then those guys get resentful, they get mad and becomes a whole thing. So all I'm saying is to have that open heart and be connected to our desire and the willingness to say things that might make people feel uncomfortable while caring about the impact. That's what you really want. A man who has both.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. How can men who know psychology avoid using it to their advantage? Like for example, if, you know, the intermittent reinforcement of, let's say, okay, generally I will write her every morning and then sometimes I will not write her on Tuesdays or whatever to make her crave me. Or I will take like 3 hours to reply even though I'm not busy at all. Just to play games.

Jason Lange: Yeah. What I would say is those are men who are trying to control and manipulate. And I've never met a person who wants to be in relationship with someone who's trying to control or manipulate them. And I would just end the relationship. Hey, my experience of you is you're trying to manage my experience and control me. And I have no desire to be in a relationship like that. Relating is very different from controlling. Controlling means I'm revealing certain things and not other things because I'm trying to get something from you. Relating is very my way more vulnerable. It takes that courage. It's the, Wow, I really like you. I really enjoyed seeing you. And I gotta be honest, I know our date just ended an hour ago, but I just want to ask you, when can we go on another date? Right? I know that's not the rule book. I'm supposed to look cool. And it takes vulnerability. It takes actually being honest about what you want and not trying to control the outcome. The truth is, though, men who actually are able to do that, they're often the most attractive because they just go for what they want, right? And they're not trying to get a certain result from someone else. And like I said, what makes a man interested in controlling a woman versus actually relating to her, that's inner growth and development. And only a man can decide to do that work. Sometimes he'll decide to do that work if he gets enough feedback from women that are like, ick, it's really gross and it feels disgusting when you treat me this way. I'm just letting you know, I don't want to see you anymore. But you should probably take a look at that man, right? That's the kind of rough feedback that if a man gets that a couple times, he might wake up to. I think I got some work to do on myself.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. One of the sexiest things I find mind about men is when they can keep promises. What I mean by that is, let's say if they say, oh, I'm gonna come pick you up at 8, and they're actually there at 8, then that's like, really amazing. And the opposite is true as well. Like when someone says, oh, I'll pick you up at 8, and then like 8 comes and they're not there and they don't inform you they're not gonna come at 8 and they come at 10. And they do that, like, on a recurring basis. Then it's like, oh, like I turned from this, like, sweet, kind, supportive, you know, into like, oh, my God, like I'm boiling right now, you know? So, like, how does someone work on that? Especially from a cultural perspective? Because, for example, in. In. In the European culture and I guess US culture as well, I think it's quite common that, you know, if you say, I'll pick you up at 8, like you typically will accommodate. Unless you want to manipulate, but. Or you have some serious problem that you normally, you should like inform, okay, I'll be 15 minutes later, I'm running late with my dinner or my meeting or whatever. Right. But in other cultures, like there are cultures where time is a bit more fluid. So like I'm coming at 8 can mean actually I'm coming at 9, or I'm coming at 10, or I'm coming whenever I actually feel like it. How do you kind of deal with this kind of cultural sensitivity?

Jason Lange: Sure, I hear two things. The first thing you're talking about is integrity. That your experiences, you're attracted to men of integrity. I told you this, so I'm doing this. Right. And what that engenders, why that's often very attractive, is it means you can trust. I trust your word. You say something and you follow through on it, which lets my nervous system relax because now I trust you. And that is one thing men can cultivate that makes them deeply attractive. Wow, I really trust you that what you're telling me is real. I don't have to guess. It's not a manipulation. Right. And we can practice that as men, even if it means, okay, yeah, I'm not going to be able to be there at 8. One way to keep the trust going is to actually speak that, hey, I'm sorry I told you I'd pick you up at 8. And I'm realizing I'm not going to be able to get there till . And I realize that might be disappointing, but I wanted to be clear with you that I'm not going to be there till , even though I told you 8 now he better show up at , right. Otherwise that trust isn't going to stay. So that, that's one thing. Then the other thing is part of what you're speaking about is communication and context across cultures. It's taking what we think is explicit but is often implicit. So, hey, I just want to check when I say when you tell me you're going to pick me up at 8, I take that literal, is I'm actually going to expect you here at 8 and I'm going to be waiting at my door with my person hand ready. Is that what you mean? Right. And someone from another culture, well, actually, no, I probably won't be there. Just that. And then you get to create shared reality with each other about, oh, you're the kind of person who, who doesn't do that. Now as part of that, as you get to know someone, you may share with them, hey, I actually need that. That's valuable to me. I need you to say the actual thing because otherwise my nervous system gets stressed out and. And has a hard time knowing when you're going to be here. And maybe that man changes, maybe he doesn't. If he doesn't change, what you might find is, then it's not a good fit for you. You like someone who's prompt and on time and values that in the same way you do. Sometimes we don't know that till we're in the experience, and sometimes we have to actually speak it to make it super clear that, hey, I'm the kind of person that appreciates promptness. I'm the same way. I get super annoyed if I'm the one that's late. I'm like, I told them I'd be there at this time. I'm going to be there at this time. Or, you know, if we're having a hard time getting out of the house, I really appreciate that because to me, being on time, having someone be on time, it's just a sign of mutual respect. Right? I value your time. You could be doing anything right now, so I want to be there for you. Not everyone values that, but communication can go a long way, and then sometimes you find it's just not the right fit for. For someone.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. Tell us where entrepreneurs can connect with you.

Jason Lange: Yeah, you can learn all about me and men's work and men's growth at Evolutionary men. So it's not.combut.men. and you'll learn, really all the things we've been talking about of how to become a thriving, successful, modern kind man that has access to your power, your heart, and your deep awareness that can make you really stand out not only in the dating world, but the entrepreneurial world, professional world, in pretty potent ways these days.

Host (Heal Podcast - Lily Patrascu): Thank you. Heal podcast with Lily Patresku shares longevity and anti aging techniques to stay young forever, increase energy, overcome addiction, and live your longest, best life ever. Shared by world's most innovative alternative and traditional health thought leaders, healers and doctors. Discover quantum healing strategies to heal your mind, body and soul.