I just wrapped up a conversation on the SHORESIDE podcast about something I've been working with for years now: how men can actually start feeling their lives instead of just grinding through them.
We talked about the reality that most guys grow up in a culture that basically teaches them to ignore everything happening inside. Stop crying. Sit still. Don't show weakness. Work harder. And then we wonder why so many men are isolated, burned out, or struggling in their relationships. The truth is, most of us were never taught how to identify what we're feeling, let alone express it or work with it in healthy ways.
One thing that came up that I see all the time with the men I work with is this dynamic in relationships where a guy's partner wants him to be more vulnerable, but then when he actually opens up, she gets uncomfortable. What I've found is that discomfort often comes from her sensing she's the only one holding his emotional world. That's a lot to carry. When a man has other men in his life who are actually holding space with him, working through stuff with him, it completely changes the dynamic. His partner can feel his vulnerability without having to mother him.
We also talked about men's groups and why they can be so powerful. At the most basic level, a men's group is just shifting your attention from triangulation (connecting over a third thing like sports or work) to actually looking at each other and asking: what's it like to be you right now? Where are you struggling? Where are you alive? That alone is transformative for most guys.
If you're hungry for this kind of connection and work, check out what we're building at evolutionarymen.men. I run groups both in person and virtual, and honestly, the virtual groups have blown my mind with how deep men can go even through a screen.
