The biggest lie most relationship advice tells you is that men and women should meet in the middle, become more alike, share everything equally. I was on Melanie Curtin's podcast Dear Men recently explaining why this well-intentioned advice is actually killing the spark in long-term relationships. We talked about one of the most common questions I get from guys: how do you bring the magnetic pull back when things have gone flat or completely reversed?
We got into what polarity actually means beyond the buzzwords. It's not some woo-woo concept. It's about magnetic attraction between different energies, what makes two people want to be close to each other. The problem so many couples face now is reverse polarity, where whoever normally holds the masculine energy is in their feminine, and vice versa. This isn't just neutral. It can actually feel repulsive in your body when you're reversed with your partner.
I talked about the nice guy pattern that shows up constantly in my work with men. Guys trying to please and appease, doing everything for their partner, completely losing touch with themselves. And then they're confused why she seems more angry and closed off. We went deep on what power actually means for men in relationship. It's not domination. It's being able to answer three questions independently: Who am I? What do I want? Where am I going? When you need your partner to answer those for you, it's immediately depolarizing.
One of the guys who graduated our program shared his story on the call about completely repolarizing his decades-long marriage. The key was he stopped waiting for his wife to tell him what to do next. He grabbed his balls and got to work changing himself, and frankly didn't care what she thought. Within six months, everything shifted. Their communication, their sex life, their emotional connection. All of it transformed because he stepped into his masculine power first.
If you're in a flat or reversed relationship and want to understand how to reclaim that magnetic pull with your partner, check out my work at evolutionarymen.com.
