The men in my community needed to hear this conversation. I've watched too many of them struggle in isolation, believing they have to figure everything out alone, while the world around us seems to be pulling us further apart from authentic connection. That's exactly why I was excited to join the Doom to Bloom podcast to talk about men's connection and why it's become so critical right now. We covered a lot of ground, but a few things really stand out.
First, I talked about my own journey into men's work. Twenty years ago, I was in my mid-twenties, hadn't kissed a girl, and was carrying this deep loneliness I didn't even know how to name. Getting into my first men's group changed everything. Not overnight, but it opened up a path where I could actually feel what was happening in my body and start building real connections with other men.
We dove deep into what I call the man box, this societal construction of behaviors you have to check off to be considered a real man. Never be vulnerable. Never share emotions. Do it alone. Be tough. And here's the kicker, if sex is available, you should take it, or there's something wrong with you. This stuff gets hammered into us in locker rooms, at work, in military culture. We're literally celebrated for being disconnected from our bodies. And when you're disconnected from your body, you can't feel your emotions. So many men turn to porn, alcohol, weed, whatever, just to regulate because no one ever taught us what to do with what we're feeling inside.
The good news is something is shifting. In the men's groups I facilitate and in the one on one work I do, guys are breaking through this. They're discovering that being emotionally connected doesn't make you weak, it actually makes you stronger. When a man steps forward vulnerably in a group, it gives permission for other men to do the same. That's the power of this work.
If you're feeling isolated or like you're carrying stuff you can't talk about, you're not alone. Most men I work with feel exactly the same way. Check out what we're doing at evolutionarymen.com. Men's groups, one on one coaching, all of it designed to help you build the connections you need and reclaim what's actually true for you.
