When it comes to dating and relationships for guys with integrity – it can be confusing to sort out what modern and evolved women are really longing for.
Lucky for me, my wife works with radiant, grounded, and powerful women to help them free their feminity and have more profound relationships. So I had her ask a simple question to the thousands of women she works with: “What do you wish more men knew about dating?.”
I’ve picked five responses that represented some pretty clear patterns from what real, available women out there right now want!
1) How to Lead Artful Conversations
Dating can already feel like a “job”, and it’s all to easy to sit down with a woman and drop into the all too familar “questions” we habitually asking, making the interaction feel more like an interview than a date.
The questions you ask, and how attentive you are in listening to her answers leaves a HUGE impression on her. Get this wrong and she’ll be turned off and bored within minutes of talking with you.
If you get this right, however, and learn how to lead artful conversations that are interesting, original, and connected, you will see her brighten, start glowing, and energetically open up in ways that will result in far deeper, rich, and meaningful interactions she won’t soon forget.
2) It’s Hard for Women Too
Guess what? Dating is hard for women too! Many men think women must have it easy with guys approaching them all day and being able to get a date whenever they want. That’s straight up not true!
Women often spends HOURS getting ready for a date, and invest a significant amount of emotional energy in going out with a new man. It can be very vulnerable for a woman to put herself out there, as many men are just “chasing tail” and not ready to commit, meaning she’ll often need to protect herself until she really knows a man is safe and interested in her beyond just sex. Small acts of kindess, aka chilvalry, really can go a long way to making her feel comfortable and cared for on a date.
3) Don’t Try Too Hard – Just Be Yourself
Too many men try to “posture” themselves on dates, playing up their accomplishments, careers, and confidence. That matters way less than most men think it does, and most women can feel fakeness a mile away.
Women are energetic integrity tuning forks, and are WAY more emotionally aware than most men. So if you’re putting on a show just to impress her, she’s going to sense that really fast and NOT trust you. She wants you to just be yourself, know what you WANT, and treat others with kindness and compassion becasue that’s just the kind of man you are.
4) It’s Normal to Be Nervous
Let’s face it, meeting someone you barely know, because their might be some mutual attraction and resonance that could lead to a relationship is an odd affair! It many ways modern dating simply isn’t natural! Outside of dating, it’s pretty rare for us to sit down with a stranger with the intent of possibly heavily involving them in our lives! It’s really kind of crazy, and women know that too.
Own that you’re nervous, and share it! You leading the way will open the space up for her to share how’s she’s feeling too! (As you can see this one really dovetails off numbers 2 & 3).
5) Taking Charge is SEXY!
MANY men I work with, and many men these women date, are increasingly afraid to take charge of the dating process, not wanting to seem too aggressive or overly controlling. While the intent is great, the consequence is that often times guys will show up on dates with NO plan, and act more like friends than love interests. Way too many men have thrown out the baby with the bath water! Courting, flirting, and seducing are still important, and if you’re not leading the way it’s unlikely she will.
The more you’re deeply rooted in healthy masculine energy, the more she’ll naturally be attracted to you and want to be around you! Taking charge on a date and leading her through a magical evening is one of the most important ways you can show her you both respect AND care for her. To truly be a good leader and take charge on a date you have to take the time to get to know her, and actually pay attention to her!
So there you have it, five crucial things women wish more men knew about modern dating.
Ready to get serious about incorporating these pieces of wisdom into your dating life? Book a free call and Let’s Talk