The world doesn't need men to become less masculine, it needs them to become more consciously masculine. I had a great conversation on the Blu Alchemist Podcast where we explored this counterintuitive truth, digging into why the reactivity of red pill culture misses the mark, how men's confusion about their roles actually points to something deeper, and why healthy masculine presence is exactly what our world is starving for right now.
One thing that stood out to me in this conversation was talking about the "man box." That set of cultural expectations that say you have to be tough, never show weakness, always have it figured out. The lone wolf archetype. What's wild is that in actual wolf packs, the lone wolf is the one that got kicked out and is going to die faster. It's not some badge of honor. We're wired for connection, and when we're isolated, it literally impacts our health as much as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
We also got into why so many men struggle with vulnerability. There's this confusion where guys think confidence means never feeling afraid or uncertain. But real confidence is feeling that fear and taking action anyway. Like approaching a woman you're attracted to even though you're nervous as hell. That's courage. That's power. The paradox is that when you can actually feel what's happening in your body and share that truthfully, you become way more trustable. If your partner can sense anger in you but you're not even aware of it, that's scary. When you can say "I'm pissed right now, my chest is on fire," suddenly she can trust you because you know what's happening for you.
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Host: Peace. Peace, everyone. It's your girl, Sequoia Blue, back in here with another interesting episode. Today's special guest is Jason, and he is a men's embodiment coach, group facilitator, and evolutionary guide. And he helps men drop in and wake up to deeper clarity in their life's purpose and relationships. I love it, because right now, Jason, we're at a time when there's a lot going on on social media. I've been watching the. Probably during the pandemic when. With the. What's his name that passed away? Kevin. I forgot his name. He was a black guy. He passed away. But I can't believe I forgot his name just now, because I was watching him a lot. But when he. When he came about, there was a lot of men starting these podcasts and, like, talking bad about women and. And how we're not feminine enough and all this stuff going on. We're trying to be a PhD and all this stuff. And, and. And then I saw the men going their own way group. Like, there's groups about men going their own way, and I'm like, well, what is that? Like, what do you mean? Are they turning gay? Are they just saying, hey, I'm not going to date? Did you. Did you see. What were your thoughts on that?
Jason Lange: Yeah, I definitely am aware of those men going their own way and what we might loosely kind of classify as red pill culture, kind of. Yeah, I would say it's kind of a reactive. Reactive reactivity that kind of came through some men of men feeling hurt and burned and not knowing what to do and hardening up in response. That's just my projection. You know, I've never been involved in those communities, but certainly what I've seen kind of on the outside, as opposed to, you know, the work I tend to do with men is helping them soften up and drop in, you know, at a different level to get even more. More open and receptive to life, which is not at all at the expense of being in our power or our strength or anything like that. In fact, they work really hand in hand.
Host: I like that. And do you feel like. I mean, I think it's great that you started the men's group, because I think sometimes men don't have that mentor to kind of give them the confidence. It's like if a man doesn't have a certain amount of money and the woman's making all this money, they feel some type of way, and the woman may not care. Like, you know, they might just be like, hey, let's work together, whatnot. But it's like the mindset thing I think women were trying to say is like if I'm making this 200000 because I want to get there, which a lot of people don't make. But I'm just saying that the woman did like, I think that what we want is support, you know, we're not saying we're better than you. I mean if the woman is like that, that's her prerogative. That's not right. But we just want somebody to understand the mindset of it all, you know? And what, what do you teach men in the. Is an embodiment. Embodiment. I can't even talk right today. Embodiment coach.
Jason Lange: Sure. Well, speaking towards that, I think one of the many areas that brings a lot of men in pain these days is we're not sure what we need to be to. To be valuable in the world we used to. There used to be all these kind of more rigid roles that a lot of men adopted of being the provider and taken care of and whatnot. And that's all dissolving, right? And I'm actually super pro, both men and women, women evolving, right? So women having more and more empowerment to get out there, kick ass in the workplace, follow their own lives. I don't have to just be stay at home moms, like all that kind of old role based stuff. And I'm also a big fan of men opening up to their interiors and their sense of feelings and their softness. Right. We need both. But it's left a lot of men confused. Then, well, what do I do? Yeah, what do I do? If the woman I'm dating makes more money than me and doesn't physically need me to take care of her, how am I supposed to show up? Right? How do I. How do I serve that relationship? And that's a big question for a lot of men. That then is maybe intensified with. There is a lot of discourse online these days about what men should not be.
Host: Right.
Jason Lange: Toxic masculine and whatnot. And a lot of it's very true. Right? There is a long storied history of damaging things that unconscious men have done to the planet, done to women, done to children, done to other men. Like it's real and it's not all we are. So part of what I work with men on is, okay, well what are the positive visions of masculinity we can step into that aren't based on these old roles, but allow us to show up in service and presence for not only ourselves and our intimate relationships and families, but our communities. Right. I'm a pretty big firm proponent right now of what? The world doesn't need less men and masculinity. The world actually needs more healthy men in touch with their masculinity, showing up to work hand in hand with the feminine and the women who are, you know, frankly, busting their asses trying to keep this whole thing called the whole human experience going.
Host: Yes, I totally agree. And I think I like what you just said about men touching, tapping into their feminine side. Because remember one time I was dating this guy and he said that, yes, I'm a. I'm a man, but I'm a. I'm a little boy too, you know, and it's like. It was like the most honest thing, the most masculine thing I've ever seen. Because this whole alpha male is. Is kind of this weird word that's been thrown around. But alpha is not always a good thing. I think masculine that's in touch with his feminine is a good thing, you know, because in. I think the hard part is for men to just acknowledge their vulnerability and, and tap into their feminine, you know? Yeah.
Jason Lange: And the paradox is a lot of men, you know, who really, let's say posture, push hard for that more alpha space. What they're often doing is they're actually reacting to their emotions. Oh, can't be weak. Gotta show toughness. Right. And the paradox of that is they're actually far more at prey, at the whim of their emotions. They're actually more reactive. And what we're. What I'm talking about here, this kind of more fluid place, we're all being called to, of having deep access to our inner masculine and inner feminine, which has nothing to do with your sexuality at birth, anything like that. We, we all have these energies. Some of us tend to gravitate towards one more than the other, but we all have it in some ourselves. And so I always like to say, with those kind of tough, hard guys, you know who's more afraid? The man who's unwilling to feel his emotional experience or the man who goes right into it and knows how to be with it and doesn't collapse into it or react against it. Right. Just like the man who looks in the eye and says, yeah, I have a little boy, sometimes I get afraid, Right? To me, that's a really powerful man because he's in relationship with that part of himself. He's not pretending or posturing that that's not there and put it on. All the bravado and Whatnot. So it's a pretty nuanced thing.
Host: Yeah. And I was shocked because, I mean, I haven't met anybody that. That was so secure in themselves like that since her. You know, they probably out there. I just didn't meet him, but I was just like, dang, that's the type of person you want to, you know, be with as a woman, you know, as a man, that's saying, okay, this was going on when he had situations happen with his business, you know, he kept going, kept the positive. He never tried to compare himself to me or anything like that, you know, And I think that's. That's the important thing. And what is the man box? What is the.
Jason Lange: Yeah, so the. The man box kind of is this loose term that a gentleman out of Oakland came up with, I think, maybe like 20 years ago. I can't remember his name right now. But it's really the set of expectations that any culture, you know, they're different kind of around the world, but there's certainly some similarities has that either you check those boxes off and you're considered a man or not. So in our culture here in the US For a long time, you know, to be a man is to be tough, to not show weakness, to always keep moving forward, to not need people, to never show your feelings.
Host: Right.
Jason Lange: There's. There's a lot of these different kind of expectations that are layered on, and if you don't meet those, you're not considered a man. And, you know, they've done some research studies that are pretty interesting, kind of polling people culturally about the differences between how men and women develop. And I'm not saying this is better or worse or right or wrong, but what they found was when they asked like, you know, what makes what marks the transition from a girl into a woman? Lo and behold, both men and women tended to report more on physical things. Right. So their physical maturation. Right. Because their bodies, you know, particularly feminine bodies, change quite a bit. Oh, she's a woman. When, you know, X, Y and Z. But what they found for men was it wasn't actually about the biology. A man could be fully through puberty and, you know, 22 years old and still be considered a boy. Having failed to launch. That was marked more by cultural expectations about what a man is supposed to be able to show up and do and provide that are deeply tied to that idea of the man box. So the man box, you know, what it is, in a way, Sequoia, is, you know, I know this is a loaded term online for People that get some know, going. But it's the way the patriarchy actually impacts men as well. It's just as harmful to men that, no, you have to be this way, and if you're not this way, you should hold yourself in shame and you're not considered a man, and you don't, you know, get to participate or be included in a way. So a big part of, you know, the work I do with men is start to bring consciousness to that and dissect that so we can create more intentional versions of, you know, I do think there's something important to acknowledge in the journey of, you know, adolescence into. Into adulthood and manhood. And most indigenous cultures and tribal cultures around the world had actual ceremonies for that. Right? Right. Oh, yeah. Where they did stuff and. And kind of earned that in a way. And we've kind of lost all that. And so there's all this, you know, pressure, particularly against young men to, you know, become men, but nobody teaches them how. So a lot of men's work these days is about bringing some intentionality there about. Yep. What are the valleys? We do want to teach our young boys about what being a healthy man really is. And they're not as limiting and constrained as the man box. Right. They're about, yeah, you get to have feelings. You get to have a soft side, too. You don't always have to be tough and invulnerable. And in fact, you become more resilient the more you're connected to other people and can have that shared type of connection which requires vulnerability. You know, a lot of men I work with are part of the man box. Is this idea of the lone wolf. Right. The tough Marlboro man, the western. Oh, yeah, boy just figures it all out himself. I don't need anybody's help. The. The truth, the funny thing is about the lone wolf idea is in actual wolf packs, the lone wolf is the one that was rejected and kicked out of the pack, and it's going to die faster. They don't live as long when they lose the tribe, when they lose the pack, they. They die, you know, frankly. So it's not a positive thing to actually be alone.
Host: I call myself a lone wolf sometime.
Jason Lange: Yeah, it's. It's. It's part of the shadow, I would say, of America. You know, pick yourself up by your own bootstraps, and if your life's not going as well as you want it to, it's your fault. It's not the political system or the economic system or all the things they don't want us to pay attention to and instead they constantly redirect it to personal fault. So we create this, you know, myth of the, the kind of self made man or woman when it's actually no, it takes a village, it takes a tribe. We're all connected. And that, that doesn't make you weaker, it makes you stronger to realize that in my opinion.
Host: Yeah, see this is a, this, this is important because like, you know, we don't see a lot of men on our podcast online talking this way or at least not promoted because right now they're telling me to go to Brazil and get women and the passport bros has became a big thing. And then now bitter going over there, getting robbed.
Jason Lange: Wow.
Host: And it's like, I mean they're getting robbed and I'm like, I feel like it's because they feel rejected by society. You know, me just being an intuitive person. They don't feel good enough. A lot of these guys are short, they're overweight, there's certain things or they don't have any money, maybe don't have the, the drive to get more money. All these things are going on. And also they might have some childhood issues and then they, they need someone that they can feel like they can control, they can feel better. And I'm just like, well, why can't I just work on yourself here, you know, and fight a coach or someone like you to, to get that confidence. Because they said that a lot of men are on these dating apps. They're not getting, they're not getting swiped on. A lot of them are getting lonelier because they're not getting any women on the apps. And actually there was even an article that it was New York Times. As a college professor that's going around right now, I think his name is Steve something. I can't remember anybody's name today, but he's going around telling, talking about that how big, saying men are the lowliest right now, right now at this time, more even lowly than women. Even though they say we're gonna die a little bit Cat. But they're really, they're really, they. I feel like, I'm not saying it's kind of weather, but I feel like men need a relationship more than women need a relationship at times for certain women. And so I'm just like, do you think that's why they don't, they just can't be alone like that.
Jason Lange: Yeah, well, I think just naturally, some through biology, some through culture and not all women, but a lot of women just have a Little bit more of a natural proclivity for relationship, for tending connections in relationships in their lives. Right. They might not be seeing someone every day, but like, you know, my wife's pretty busy, we have a kid, but she's constantly got text threads with friends and they're like sharing things and how their day is going and whatnot. Men don't necessarily do that. And so I think men are just more vulnerable right now to some of the societal shifts that have been happening of, you know, America. We are freakishly focused on privacy and independence. Right. The, the American dream is to have the big mansion not surrounded by anyone, to have a nice car, to be separate. The American dream is basically to be separate, to be, you know, differentiated from your community and now technology and work from home and Covid and the kind of dissolution of a lot of our social structures, whether it's through church or clubs or different organizations that used to keep people involved in their community. I mean now right as a human being here in the States, you can look from your apartment, you could work from home, order all your food and everything from his Amazon. Never have to go out and connect with your, with human beings. So I think men are a little more vulnerable to that and so they're feeling that more. And frankly, the men's growth movement, I would say is just a little farther behind. Right. Women's liberation started in the kind of the, the early 1900s, culminating in the 60s and 70s and women were liberated from having to just be the stay at home housewife or have that servant role. And they're able to go out and create their own lives now. And that's awesome. Men. Our liberation started a little later. It really wasn't until the 90s some of the first voices of hey men, like we need to grow and change too. And we don't have to just be these certain things we were taught. And so it's a little farther behind that. I think men are just catching up now that, wow, we get to decide who we want to be as well. But as part of that, when you layer that kind of confusion on with a lot of men are fed this kind of lone wolf, macho man box culture. Men tend to be very many men are very isolated and not.
Host: Yes.
Jason Lange: And that has a huge impact on our health, our well being. I mean the stats are crazy. Sequoia. It's loneliness is just as deadly as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day of being extremely obese. It has real health implications for us. And many men are suffering there because they don't they haven't been taught how to create, you know, connections and communities, and particularly, you know, once you get out of that kind of late teens, early 20s, college or work environment, it gets harder to make new friends the older you get oftentimes. So a lot of men I know, you know, they have a couple connections from earlier in their life, but they don't really have places to go for connection, and that is a huge challenge for them. And then when they don't have a lot of connection in their life, they feel lonely. So it turns up the need in the urgency with which they feel I have to be in an intimate relationship. I need a woman or a man, you know, whether you're gay or straight. And so there's like a. A deeper hunger for that. But the paradox is, particularly as men, I would say, when. When our life isn't very full and we're not feeling great in it and passionate about it, it's hard to attract a really great partner. When our life is full and we feel connected and supported to other people and we love where our life is at, it's pretty easy to attract.
Host: Yes, it is.
Jason Lange: It feels great to be with you. You feel really sad. Right. And the man doesn't have that kind of inner. Inner need of, oh, my God, if I'm not with you, I'm going to be alone. And there's sometimes a desperation around men where they'll go to any lengths to get that connection. So a big part of what I try to kind of rip out the wiring around for men is that, hey, you can get a lot of your connection needs met through other men, and they can be your greatest allies in life to help you get what you want and move towards the things you want in the world.
Host: Yeah, I think a solid group of men, even if it's just one or two guys, and everybody doesn't have to be your best friend. It could just be an associate that's just giving you some advice, you know, back in the day. Well, I don't know if it's still now, but the barbershop used to be the spot where men could go and just lash out and talk.
Jason Lange: Yeah.
Host: Everything going on and I'm like, I don't even know if they're still doing it because I don't really hear about it, but I'm sure it's still. Still out there. And the cigar lounges, you know, stuff like that. What are some steps that men can take to, like, build confidence to, you know, I guess, feel confident around other men, too? Like, you know, sometimes another man might not feel confident talking to someone that could change their life. And, like, you know, what are some, like, quick steps that they could take to build that confidence?
Jason Lange: Yeah, I mean, listening to, you know, podcasts like, this is a great start to start to. I even question their beliefs about who they need to be or what they. You know, the thing that I see over and over and over again in the work I do with men, particularly in groups, is the light bulb moment that goes off for men when they realize, oh, wait, I'm not the only one who sometimes feels afraid or isn't confident or thinks I don't make enough money or I'm not handsome enough. I thought every other man had it for figured out and I was the loser. And the truth is, no one's a loser. We're all struggling. And for men to wake up and realize that, oh, wow, I'm not alone in this is so powerful. And that comes from, you know, spending time with other men and being willing. You know, one area you can start to take charge as a man is being willing to go first. And what I mean by that is, again, a lot of the man box culture and men's culture that we're kind of raised in by default is men are taught to relate via triangulation. And all that means is, there's me, there's who I'm with. And our attention is on a third thing, whether that's a sporting game or activity or. So we're literally with each other, but we're relating by putting our attention on this third thing. And the thing about that is, yeah, there's a fun time and place for it, but we don't always feel seen and connected in it. So being a man who's willing to, even if it's just one other man in your life, to call them forward and be like, hey, you want to get together for a lunch or a walk or a hike? And we're gonna put our attention on each other, or I'm gonna ask you, you, what's going on in your life? Where do you feel like you're thriving? Where do you feel like you're in pain? Where are you struggling? What do you want? What are you moving towards? And we break below the surface into what's actually happening underneath the exteriors. And that connection starts to come online where we get to be seen and feel seen and be felt by others. And it can often be quite liberating. So if you're a man, be willing to go first to get real about what's going on in your life, not have to. It doesn't make you weak to be vulnerable. Right. The, the, the deepest strength I know is actually vulnerability. It's the willingness to take action or share something when we don't know how it's going to turn out. The paradox vulnerability I talk about is on the outside when someone's being vulnerable, like, truly being courageous and vulnerable, we're like, wow, that person's so brave. They're so confident. They just shared their, like, truth. I could never share like that. And that's the funny thing where we think, you know what? A lot of guys come to me and they're like, I want to feel more confident. What they actually mean by that is, I never want to have to feel afraid or like I'm getting it wrong or I might fail. I want to know the outcome before I do the thing. I, I want to know that if I approach that woman, she's going to like me. That's not confidence. That's right. That's being invulnerable. Confidence is, wow, I like that woman. I don't know if she's going to like me, but I'm going to walk over and say hi, because that's my truth. I'm going to take the risk. And on the outside, right, oh, that guy's really confident. Even though maybe he's, you know, quivering inside, like, oh, my God, this woman's so attractive. I don't know what to do. It's fine. But so the, the type of vulnerability I work with men around is, it's, you know, it's taking risks and yes, not holding all that inside, but sharing that and being willing to not always not be afraid to share, you know, weakness in a sense, because we're all fragile as human beings and we all need help. Yes.
Host: Just be like, it's like tapping into emotional intelligence. You know, that word is being flown around and just being self aware. I'm all about self awareness. That's why I started this podcast, to kind of push that.
Jason Lange: Yeah.
Jason Lange: So, yeah, I mean, are hungry for guidance. For sure.
Host: Hungry. And by the way, you should start a meditation app, like for men, because your voice is soothing. Like, you have a soothing voice. You're just like, yes. Like, you would blow up. I haven't seen a meditation app for men, but they need it. Yeah, I would say do that if you can, because that would be amazing because, because you have a good voice for your energy, is soothing and men need a soothing energy. And so meditation app for men.
Jason Lange: Yeah, that's, I'll just, I'll just share. I think part of the challenge for a lot of men where they feel lost. Right. Is that they don't have that vision of a positive masculinity to move towards. And yes, we haven't necessarily had a lot of role models guiding us in that. Most men are exposed to what I would call one of three archetypes, types of the masculine one would we just kind of simply call the macho jerk. The guy that just takes what he wants, goes for what he wants, really just thinks about himself in a way. He, he tends to get a lot of what he wants because he's not really thinking about the impact on other people. But that's the guy that can really cause a Lot of damage in the world. And many men grew up seeing those guys or had those guys as fathers and totally go the other way to what we call called a nice guy, that, whoa, I don't want to be that guy. I want to be safe. I want to be friendly. I want to be nice to women. I never want to push anyone's buttons. And those guys are really pleasant, but they. They're often disconnected from their power, get taken advantage of or, yes, can't get the relationships they want and they, you know, they suffer inside. Or what I kind of call the more stoic, which was sometimes kind of more. The grandfatherly energy. But it can show up anywhere if just the man who is, you know, batten down the hatches, show up. I do my job, take care of my family, but I never share a feeling in the world. I keep all that locked away, you know, and then I'm again, I'm kind of stuffering inside, and none of those work. So. Part of what men are really longing for, I think, is an example of what does it mean to be a man who's fiercely in touch with his power, his sexuality, his want, his drive, and is very open, very sensitive, very attuned to himself, to who he's with, to the planet. Those things do not have to be independent of each other. They can coexist and they actually inform each other. And like you said, a big part of what I help men do is get into their bodies because, you know, we got this big bundle of nerves called, you know, our vagal nerve that goes from kind of the base of our brain down and our spine, and it handles communication between the body and the brain. And the wild thing about that sequoia is they've done the research. 80%. Like, if we imagine that a highway, 80% of that highway is devoted to body to brain, only 20% is brain to body, which means when we're disconnected from our bodies, we are missing out on an incredible amount of intelligence and information in the world we can use to help us make decisions and lead ourselves, our families and whatnot. So getting into the body, which includes for men, means getting in touch with our emotions, which are actually stardust sensations in our bodies. Yeah, it makes us more powerful leaders. Like, it makes us a more trustable, powerful leader.
Host: And it makes women trust you to lead the home. That's what we're looking for, is for the man to leave the home, you know?
Jason Lange: Yeah.
Host: You know, of course, women. Men should look for women that they can fall on if something happened too you know, because men. Women should. You should. Men should want a woman that had that if something happened to him, she could take over, you know, pay the bills, do whatever. I think that's important too. So, yeah.
Host: Yeah. I'm like, that is so true that you hit on that. Because I. That's why I'm single for six years. Because I. I just haven't. I let go of the guy that was in touch with himself because, you know, I thought he was too old for me, which was wrong. And I haven't found anybody like that since. But it's like, now that's what. That's what women would like is someone that's just tapped in, you know, and it doesn't matter about religion or anything like that, but tapped in is just tapping into who the heck you are. And. And you start noticing things around you Start to move with you, you know, because you tapped in and, and maybe a question you might have had. Let's say you try to get an answer to something and if you were able to look into yourself like you said, and, and be honest with yourself, then you can get the answer. You'd be surprised how you get the answer from just, just randomly. You'd be like, oh dang, I just bought that up. And honestly, me going to Metaphysical University, that's what helped me learn how to do it. I went there and that was probably the best college I could ever have because it taught me how to become self aware. And I think some men might need to go to the Metaphysical University. University. Go to university Metaphysics men or some women too, because if you pay attention to it, it'll help you tap in. And I think that's. Shoot, it was more important than the, a regular degree because if your mindset's not right, how you're going to get the job is a lot of people with all these degrees and they can't, it's just because they're not, they're just not tapped in to know what, what's best and what they need to do. So. Oh man. Oh, I, I know that we run up a time, but one thing I want to ask, I want to talk to you about like your, your group sessions. So you have virtual sessions. Do you have in person sessions as well? Do you hold conferences?
Jason Lange: Yeah. So I run a, a couple of different programs for men that are all around connecting in community, men's work and men's groups in specific. Some I do focused online, mostly around dating and relationships. Some I do around something called shadow work. I do live retreats for men as well, which is sometimes the fastest, most potent way to get an experience of what else is possible. When you actually get in the room with guys and you know, can, can open up and feel the energy and honestly feel their power. Strength, softness, all that can go hand in hand. So the good news is the work for men is starting to show up and men are hungry for it. They are hungry for it. Once they realize, oh, there's a different way possible, possible. I find that men get really lit up, but it takes, you know, it takes some vulnerability and risk of oh my God, I'm going to go to this thing, it's not going to be all men. Am I going to hate it? Are they going to bully me? Like there's all kinds of stuff, but you just got to be willing to give it a try and see that you Know something else is possible.
Host: I love it. I mean, come on, dudes, check him out. Don't just get online, listen to anybody, go talk to somebody's really going to help you, I'm telling you. And also I wanted to ask too, about health, like as far as men and what they're eating and stuff. Do you think that, you know, also could. Could hold them back and, you know.
Jason Lange: Oh, yeah, totally. You know, it's particularly what I teach around relationships is it's each person's responsibility to take care of themselves so they can show up with energy and presence for the relationship. And for a lot of men, energy management is their thing. I'm too tired, I'm too busy, I'm too burdened. I don't feel, feel good. And it starts there, right? How you treat yourself, how you eat, how you sleep. Some of these just nuts and bolts. Foundational things are so important because if you're not taking care of that house, it's hard to make anything, you know, any of the other stuff really stick changes emotionally or spiritually or mentally. Like, you got to take care of the vessel, so to speak. And, you know, diet, food, sleep, you know, just those core ingredients, they're really, really important. And they're not the sexy thing to work on. Right. They're not like the fun thing, but they're the foundational thing that I find that as we do that, we feel more and more grounded and centered in ourselves and in our nervous systems. And then lo and behold, again, people trust us more. Yeah, grounded and open in on our nervous system. We get paid more money, we get better relationships. People want to be around us.
Host: Right?
Jason Lange: A well regulated present, man. You know, whether you're a man or woman, they feel good to be around. You're like, I want to be around that. A man who is not well regulated, who is not taking care of himself, who's lost in rumination or anxiety or insecurity. It does not feel good to be around them. Our nervous system has to. To tense up when we feel their nervous system is tense. So taking care of ourselves at this foundational level, it's actually incredibly generous to our families, to our lovers, to our kids, to the people around us, because they get to feel better in themselves the better we feel in ourselves.
Host: Yes. Oh, man, that's just a great response, man. You know, because you got people that make excuses, juices. Oh, I'm working two jobs or three jobs. I get it. But you can still cultivate a healthy meal. Like, you know, just. It's just ways to do it. But I guess it depends on how bad somebody wants it at this point. Like, I think it depends on that. And working out could be 20 minutes, three days a week. We're not saying you have to be in the gym and be a bodybuilder. No. If you want to do that, that's fine. But I think three days a week has been great for me. And even if you're a skinny man, I still think you should work out. Like, I think sometimes people, oh, I don't want to lose weight. Well, you got to take proteins research and. And you don't have to. You can actually gain weight with working out. I think people don't know that you can gain muscle. And so. And I had to learn that I was someone really skinny growing up, and I was always scared to work out. But when I got older, I realized what to do, you know, I said, okay, let me make sure I'm eating this protein, and let me. Let me, you know, do three days a week. And, you know, you just got to know your body, and it goes back to knowing your body, like, you know, and so, man, it's. It's been a treat having you on. On here today. This was such a great conversation. And I always ask each guest before we end the show, what's a saying or quote that you go by?
Jason Lange: Yeah, let me. My current one for this year, I would say this is kind of my theme for the year. And turns out it's probably the best cheat code I've found for life is to embrace intensity and conflict, to just embrace it. Don't turn away from it, don't shy away. Don't try to just, oh, there's conflict here or there's intensity here. I'm just going to embrace it because it's already here. So I can either resist it or I can be a yes to it, whether it's in my relationship or my work or even inside myself. So that's been a game changer for me to just to. To allow that to be my kind of North Star right now of just, okay, this isn't going how I want, or, whoa, this is stressful. And I can either be in resistance to that, or here we go, let's do it. Let's figure this out. You know, I'm a yes to it. Yep. Just gotta embrace it. And that willingness has, you know, been changing a lot for me in positive ways.
Host: Oh, man. Same thing for me, me just embracing it, saying, hey, I'm pissed off right now. And I'll say it out loud. People I trust, I'm. I be like, I'm pissed. And then I just go and I calm down. I drink a little red wine. You know, I just sit still. And sometime movies and TV is my thing. Like some people, you know. You know, a lot of millionaires say it's waste of time and stuff. I don't think it's a waste of time. I learned a lot from movies and tv. And I even talked about my podcast. I've had some episodes where I'm talking about a show and how I. How it coincides with society. Society and stuff like that. Because everything's connected. Everything's connected. So, you know, and so, yeah, I mean, those are some ways that people I think could calm down Is. Is are going to listen to your favorite song or something. Just. Just tap in, though. Just, just. I love it. I love it, man. So, so much fun talking to you. Oh, yeah. Call out your website, social media. I'm gonna put it in my notes, but we could just, you know, say, yeah, totally.
Jason Lange: The best way to. To stay in touch with me or kind of find out more of what I'm up to is to go to my website, Evolutionary Men. So it's dot men, not dot com, and you can find all kinds of my writing and my programs, and I have a podcast of my own for men on there to just kind of start to dip your toes and get them wet, so to speak. And then maybe that might be your on ramp, but just, yeah, you can follow me and get all my socials there.
Host: Awesome. Well, there you have it, everyone. Want to thank everybody for tuning in. Please subscribe and share. That helps us grow. If you have any comments about the video, make sure you share it. You know, let us know what you think. And thanks everyone for rocking with me. Peace.
