Men’s Retreats: The Definitive Guide
A men’s retreat is an immersive, multi-day experience where men step out of their daily routines to do focused personal development work in community with other men. Retreats typically include a combination of group process, embodiment practices, shadow work, and facilitated conversation in a held environment designed to create depth and connection that’s nearly impossible to access in everyday life. They range from weekend intensives to week-long wilderness experiences, and the best ones don’t just give you a powerful experience. They give you the tools and community to integrate what you discover long after you go home.
What Actually Happens at a Men’s Retreat
If you’ve never been to a men’s retreat, the mystery of what actually goes on is probably one of the things keeping you on the fence. So let’s be direct about it.
Most men’s retreats include some combination of the following: facilitated group sharing (not therapy, not advice-giving, but structured practices for honest self-disclosure and witnessing), somatic and embodiment work (breathwork, movement, nervous system regulation), shadow work or emotional process work, time in nature, accountability practices, and often some form of challenge or edge work designed to push you past your comfort zone in a supported way.
What they don’t include: lectures you could watch on YouTube. PowerPoint presentations. Sitting in a circle talking about your feelings for three days straight with no structure. The best retreats have a clear container, skilled facilitation, and a balance of depth and integration.
As Dr. Luke Adler puts it: "The curriculum, men, is you. Whatever you’ve lived through and been through, that’s what’s going to come up. You’re not going to learn a paint-by-numbers approach. You’re going to learn what you need to learn. What’s missing in your palette of expression." There’s no syllabus for this. The material is whatever you’ve been carrying. (The Heart of Shadow with Luke Adler, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
And the facilitation style at Evolutionary Men reflects that. Jason Lange describes it this way: "Our style is we set the environment and allow you to go as deep as you want. We’ll go anywhere. But it’s up to you. You don’t have to crack more than you want to crack." The work is almost always an allowing. Not forced. Not pushed. When suddenly that grip relaxes and something comes forward on its own. (Episode 55, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
The specifics vary widely depending on the retreat. A wilderness rites-of-passage retreat looks very different from a shadow work intensive or a somatic breathwork weekend. What they share is the fundamental premise that something happens when men gather with intention, away from the noise and obligations of daily life, that simply cannot happen any other way.
Something relaxes in the masculine nervous system when a man feels genuinely seen by other men. Not judged. Not fixed. Seen. And that relaxation opens the door to everything else.
Types of Men’s Retreats: An Honest Comparison
These retreats focus on bringing unconscious patterns, suppressed emotions, and hidden parts of yourself into awareness. Shadow work retreats tend to be the most emotionally intensive type. Expect facilitated processes where you confront material from your past, often from childhood, in a supported group container. The work is somatic, meaning it happens in your body, not just your head. You might find yourself beating a mattress, standing face to face with another man, or making sounds you haven’t made since you were a kid. It’s not therapy. It’s something that gets massive results quickly when the container is right.
At Evolutionary Men, the Heart of Shadow retreat (co-facilitated by Jason Lange and Dr. Luke Adler) combines several weeks of online group sessions before the live retreat, so men arrive already connected and trusting each other. The retreat itself runs three and a half days of deep shadow work with somatic integration. Men consistently describe it as one of the most powerful experiences of their lives.
Jason Lange describes his own first encounter with this work: "I was in therapy for years before I got into this. The first time I did shadow work with our mentor, within ten minutes I was on the floor crying like a two-year-old boy. I had no idea that was inside me. Cognitively, I kind of knew some stuff had happened, but I had never actually contacted that place in me." That little boy had been walking around with him for a long time. No wonder he kept getting into the same situations. Years of talk therapy had given him understanding. Ten minutes of shadow work in the right container gave him contact with the thing itself. That’s the difference between knowing about your wound and actually touching it. (The Heart of Shadow with Luke Adler, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
These retreats center on the body: breathwork, movement, nervous system regulation, and building the capacity to feel more. They’re particularly powerful for men who live from the neck up and have a hard time accessing or naming their emotions. The emphasis is on direct experience over conversation. You won’t spend much time talking about your problems. You’ll be in your body working with them directly.
Rooted in the mythopoetic tradition (think Robert Bly’s Iron John and the men’s movement of the 1980s-90s), these retreats use time in nature, ceremony, silence, and often rites of passage to facilitate transformation. There’s something about being stripped of your phone, your schedule, and your usual distractions that allows deeper material to surface. These retreats tend to be longer, often five to seven days, and they work on a different timeline than urban intensive retreats.
These are broader retreats that combine elements of all of the above. They might include group process, some embodiment work, outdoor activities, and structured connection exercises. They’re often a great entry point for men who are new to this kind of work and want to get a taste of what’s possible without diving into the deepest end of the pool on day one.
The Evolutionary Men Labor Day retreat, held annually in Colorado, is an example of this type. It blends deep connection work with time in nature, incredible food, and a mix of structured and organic bonding. Men come back year after year because the container deepens and evolves.
Red Flags to Watch For
A few things to be cautious about when evaluating a men’s retreat:
Retreats built entirely around one charismatic leader with no co-facilitation or peer elements can foster dependency rather than growth. Look for retreats where the facilitation is skilled but the emphasis is on the group’s own capacity, not one person’s authority.
Retreats that promise permanent transformation in a single weekend are selling you something. As Jason Lange teaches: you’re not going to fix everything in your life in a weekend retreat. The retreat gives you a state experience, an embodied reference point for what’s possible. The real work is integration, bringing what you discovered back into your daily life. Any retreat worth attending will be honest about this.
Retreats with no follow-up structure leave you to integrate alone. The best programs include some form of continued connection, whether that’s ongoing group meetings, alumni communities, or at minimum, guidance on how to keep the work alive after you leave.
The Retreat Is the Easy Part
This is one of the most important things to understand about men’s retreats, and most retreat providers won’t tell you this.
The retreat is the easy part. The real work starts when you get home.
Jason Lange talks about the difference between a state experience and a stage of development. A state is something temporary that comes and goes. A stage is when you build a new foundation, a set point you can come back to that doesn’t disappear when life gets hard. Retreats, workshops, breathwork, plant medicine, any powerful transformative technology. They primarily give you state experiences. Profound, life-altering, perspective-shifting state experiences. But state experiences alone don’t change the structure of your life. (The Retreat, Workshop, or Ceremony is the Easy Part, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
Here’s what actually happens. You go to a retreat. You open up. You feel things you haven’t felt in years, maybe decades. You connect with men at a depth that shocks you. You leave feeling different. Changed. Lighter. More alive. And then you drive home. You walk through your front door. The dishes are in the sink. Your inbox has 200 emails. Your partner looks at you the same way they did before you left. And reality slams back in your face.
Jason has lived this. After one retreat, his wife’s first response was: "Oh my God, I had no idea you thought life was so bad." She saw the intensity of what came up and assumed the worst. But the truth was more nuanced. The breakthrough wasn’t about how bad life was. It was about realizing how good it actually is, and how afraid he was of losing it. That’s the kind of conversation you get to have when you come home cracked open. It’s messy. It’s real. And it’s where the actual integration begins. (Episode 48, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
There’s going to be a moment of closure or contraction. Even though you thought: I got it this time. I’m different. It’s never going to be the same again.
This isn’t failure. This is how it works. The state experience gives you an embodied reference point for what’s possible. It’s like sticking a measuring rod into a pond and discovering it’s deeper than you thought. Now you know the depth is there. Your practice in daily life is to keep returning to that depth, over and over, in sustainable ways.
As Jason puts it: you train at the edges so you can hold more in the day-to-day. The retreat gives you capacity, not intensity, for daily life. You go deep so that your normal range expands. Not so you walk around in a permanent state of emotional breakthrough. (Episode 51, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
This is why community matters so much after a retreat. A group can reflect back what you experienced and hold you through the inevitable contraction. They can remind you: I saw who you were in that circle. I felt it. Don’t lose heart if it’s not showing up in your life the way you want yet. You can get back there. How do I know? Because I’ve seen you be there before.
Integration is the unsexy work. It’s changing the structure of your day and your life to support who you’re becoming. It’s not glamorous. But it’s where everything actually changes.
No man I know that has made profound and lasting change in his life has done it alone.
Experience a Retreat That Doesn’t End When You Leave
Evolutionary Men retreats are designed for both depth and integration. The Heart of Shadow combines weeks of online group work with a live retreat and ongoing community. The annual Labor Day retreat in Colorado connects men in nature, brotherhood, and real work. Both are built to last beyond the weekend.
What to Look for in a Men’s Retreat
Choosing a men’s retreat is a significant investment of time, money, and emotional energy. Here’s what actually matters when you’re evaluating your options.
The most important factor. Who is leading this retreat, and what’s their depth of experience? Have they done their own work, or are they just teaching concepts they’ve read about? The best retreat facilitators are men who have been doing this work for years, who have sat in their own groups, who have confronted their own shadow material, and who can hold a container when things get intense.
Jason Lange has been doing men’s work for over 20 years and has facilitated hundreds of groups and retreats through Evolutionary Men. His co-facilitator for the Heart of Shadow, Dr. Luke Adler, brings a background in Chinese medicine, Vedic tradition, and somatic healing. The combination of their approaches creates a container that men consistently describe as both deeply safe and deeply challenging.
Smaller groups (8-12 men) allow for depth. Larger groups (20-50+) create energy and breadth but less individual attention. Neither is inherently better. It depends on what you’re looking for. If you want deep personal process work, smaller is generally better. If you want to feel the power of a larger masculine field, bigger retreats offer that.
Look for a retreat that has clear structure (you want to know the facilitator has a plan and knows what they’re doing) but also has the flexibility to follow what’s alive in the room. Overly scripted retreats miss what’s actually happening with the men present. Completely unstructured retreats can feel aimless and unsafe.
What happens after the retreat? Does the program include follow-up calls, an ongoing group, alumni connections? Or do you just go home and figure it out? The retreats that create lasting change are the ones with built-in integration. This is one of the key differentiators of the Heart of Shadow program at Evolutionary Men. Men do several weeks of online group sessions before the retreat, building trust and connection. After the retreat, many groups continue meeting weekly or biweekly, peer-led and self-sustaining. Seven of ten men in a typical cohort choose to keep meeting. Some of those groups have been going for years.
Dr. Luke Adler puts it bluntly about his own years-long men’s group with Jason Lange: "If someone would have told me what I was getting, I would have probably invested $100,000 in it. Maybe more, like the cost of a house. Because it’s paid dividends so much bigger than that. Stagnation does not collect in my life. If I start to sense it, I can immediately bring it to my men’s group." That’s what integration support actually looks like when it works. Not a follow-up email. A structure that keeps the work alive for years. (Episode 66, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
The right retreat meets you where you are and pushes you just past your comfort zone. If you’ve never done any personal development work, a hardcore shadow work intensive might be too much too fast. Start with a general men’s retreat or a weekend workshop and build from there. If you’ve been doing work for years and feel stuck, a deeper dive like a shadow work retreat or embodiment intensive might be exactly what you need to break through.
What to Expect Your First Time
The first time is awkward. Full stop. Accept it.
You’re walking into a room of men you don’t know, and you’re going to be asked to be more real and more honest than you probably are with anyone in your life right now. Your nervous system is going to light up. You might feel resistance, skepticism, even irritation. All of that is normal.
Here’s what helps: remember that every single man in that room felt the same way his first time. Every one of them had a moment of "what the hell am I doing here?" And most of them will tell you it was one of the best decisions they ever made.
Dr. Luke Adler remembers his first time in this kind of work. He was sharing in a group and started feeling self-conscious, like maybe he was talking too much. "I said, well, I could stop there. And the facilitator said, ‘You could.’ That was it. Just that permission." He cracked open within three minutes. Not because anyone forced anything. Because someone held the space well enough that the walls came down on their own. (Episode 55, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
And it doesn’t go away with experience. Jason Lange is honest about this: "It’s still scary for me when the attention turns on me. I’m like, what am I going to do? What if I do it wrong? But trusting that process always takes me through to a deeper, more integrated place." The man who has facilitated hundreds of groups through Evolutionary Men still feels the fear. He just knows by now that the fear is the doorway, not the wall. (The Heart of Shadow with Luke Adler, Evolutionary Men Podcast)
You don’t need to go first. You don’t need to share your deepest darkest secret on day one. You just need to show up and be willing to stay open. The container will do the rest. Trust the process, trust the facilitation, and trust that the discomfort you feel is just the friction of something new. It’s not a sign that you’re in the wrong place. It’s a sign that you’re exactly where you need to be.
"I didn’t know what I was getting into. I knew I had a good feeling. I just felt called. And I took a leap. It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life because it dug into stuff from my childhood I didn’t even know was there."
"When I came back from the retreat, my wife felt a different energy from me. She could see the work and the growth, which allowed her to start working on her own stuff. We’re both on this path now, individually and as a couple."
Men’s Retreats in Colorado
Colorado has become one of the most active hubs for men’s retreat work in the country. The combination of mountain landscape, outdoor access, and a growing community of men doing this work makes it a natural fit.
Evolutionary Men is based in Colorado and hosts multiple retreats throughout the year in the state. The annual Labor Day retreat brings men together in Northern California or Colorado for a multi-day experience combining deep connection work, time in nature, and structured group process. The Heart of Shadow retreat, Evolutionary Men’s intensive shadow work program, also holds its live component in Colorado, bringing men from across the country to do three and a half days of deep work in person after building connection through weeks of online sessions.
Colorado’s geography matters here. There’s something about being in the mountains, away from the pace and noise of urban life, that supports the kind of dropping in this work requires. The altitude, the open sky, the physical landscape. It all serves the process. Men who come to a retreat in Colorado often describe the environment itself as part of the experience.
If you’re searching for a men’s retreat in Colorado, look for programs that combine skilled facilitation, clear structure, and integration support. A beautiful location means nothing without a facilitator who knows how to hold the space when things get real.
How to Get the Most from a Men’s Retreat
Clear your schedule completely. Don’t plan to check email or take calls. Tell your partner, your boss, whoever needs to know, that you’re unavailable for the full duration. Half-in doesn’t work. The men who get the most from retreats are the ones who fully commit to the container.
If the retreat includes pre-work (readings, journaling prompts, online sessions), do it. Programs like the Heart of Shadow at Evolutionary Men include several weeks of online group sessions before the live retreat specifically because it builds trust, connection, and readiness. Showing up to a retreat already knowing the men in your group changes everything.
Go first when you can. The men who volunteer to step into the work early often have the deepest experiences, partly because they set the tone for the group. As one retreat participant put it: "Seeing me just go all in was helpful for the other guys to say, I can let loose here too."
Stay in your body. When things get intense, the temptation is to go into your head, to analyze, strategize, or check out. Instead, feel your feet on the ground. Breathe. Stay with the sensation. That’s where the work actually happens.
Don’t try to fix anyone else. Your job is to witness, to hold space, and to stay present. Sometimes the greatest gift you get in a men’s retreat is getting a break from your own issues and being able to go completely into another man’s world.
Stay connected with the men from your retreat. Exchange numbers. Set up a regular check-in call. The bonds you formed in that container are real, and they need tending to survive the transition back to regular life.
Don’t try to explain the experience to people who weren’t there. Not because it’s secret, but because it’s experiential. Your partner may notice you’re different. Let that be the proof.
Find or create a men’s group to continue the work. The retreat gave you the state experience. The group is what helps you build the stage. This is the single most important thing you can do to protect your investment.
Expect the contraction. It’s coming. You will have a moment, maybe a week later, maybe a month, when you feel like you’ve lost everything you gained. You haven’t. That’s just how integration works. The pattern loosens, then it grips again, then it loosens more. This is the slingshot effect. The regression right before the developmental leap. Stay with it.
Frequently Asked Questions About Men’s Retreats
What is a men’s retreat?
A men’s retreat is an immersive, multi-day experience where men step out of their daily routines to do focused personal development work in community with other men. Retreats typically include group process, embodiment practices, shadow work, time in nature, and facilitated conversation. They create depth and connection that’s difficult to access in everyday life and serve as powerful catalysts for personal growth when combined with ongoing integration.
What happens at a men’s retreat?
Most men’s retreats include facilitated group sharing, somatic and embodiment practices (breathwork, movement, nervous system work), shadow work or emotional process work, time in nature, and accountability practices. The specifics vary by retreat type. Shadow work retreats tend to be more emotionally intensive. Embodiment retreats focus on the body. Wilderness retreats use nature and ceremony. The common thread is honest self-examination in a held environment with other men.
How much does a men’s retreat cost?
Men’s retreats range widely in cost. Weekend workshops might run $300-$800. Multi-day intensive retreats typically range from $1,500-$5,000+ depending on the program, location, accommodations, and whether the experience includes ongoing support. Programs that include pre-retreat preparation and post-retreat integration (like the Heart of Shadow at Evolutionary Men) tend to be at the higher end because you’re getting significantly more than a weekend event.
Are men’s retreats like therapy?
Men’s retreats and therapy serve different but complementary functions. Therapy tends to be one-on-one, cognitive, and focused on insight and symptom reduction. Retreats are communal, somatic, and focused on capacity building and direct experience. Many men find that a retreat accelerates the work they’re doing in therapy, and vice versa. The group container offers something no individual therapeutic relationship can: the experience of being witnessed, challenged, and held by a community of men.
How do I choose the right men’s retreat?
Look at the facilitator’s experience and personal depth first. Then consider group size (smaller for depth, larger for energy), the retreat’s integration support (what happens after), and whether the style matches where you are in your development. If you’re new to this work, a general men’s development retreat is a strong starting point. If you’ve been doing work and feel stuck, a shadow work or embodiment intensive can break through plateaus. Trust your gut. If a retreat calls to you, pay attention to that.
What should I bring to a men’s retreat?
Beyond the practical essentials (comfortable clothing, layers for temperature changes, a journal), bring your willingness. That’s the most important thing. You don’t need to arrive with a specific problem to solve or an agenda. Just bring your honest self and your willingness to stay open. The container and facilitation will guide the rest.
Will a men’s retreat fix my problems?
Honestly? No. And any retreat that promises to fix all your problems in a weekend is not being straight with you. What a retreat can do is give you a powerful state experience: an embodied reference point for what’s possible. It can show you what’s underneath your patterns, connect you with men who see you, and give you tools and practices for ongoing growth. The integration of that experience into your daily life is where the real transformation happens, and that takes time, community, and consistent practice.
Are there men’s retreats in Colorado?
Yes. Colorado has become a hub for men’s retreat work due to its mountain landscape, outdoor access, and growing men’s work community. Evolutionary Men, founded by Jason Lange, is based in Colorado and hosts multiple retreats throughout the year, including the Heart of Shadow shadow work retreat and the annual Labor Day retreat. The natural environment of Colorado supports the kind of deep work men come to do, and the state draws men from across the country for retreat experiences.
About the Author
Jason Lange is a men’s embodiment coach, group facilitator, certified No More Mr. Nice Guy coach, and evolutionary guide. He is the founder of Evolutionary Men, where he leads the Pillars of Presence coaching program, co-facilitates the Heart of Shadow shadow work retreat with Dr. Luke Adler, and hosts the Evolutionary Men Podcast. Jason has been doing men’s work for over 20 years, has facilitated hundreds of men’s groups and retreats, and leads the annual Evolutionary Men Labor Day retreat in Colorado. His training lineage includes John Wineland, Dr. Robert Glover, Jun Po Roshi, Tripp Lanier, Ken Wilber, Brother David Steindl-Rast, and Robert Augustus Masters. He is a Stages International Certified Debriefer. As Dr. Robert Glover says: "Keep an eye on Jason Lange. You are going to start seeing his name more and more in the world of men’s work."
Your Next Step Isn’t Another Article. It’s an Experience.
Reading about men’s retreats will only take you so far. At some point, you have to step into the room. Evolutionary Men offers retreats designed for real transformation and lasting integration, not just a powerful weekend you forget by Tuesday.