There's a moment in every man's life where he realizes he's been living according to someone else's rulebook, performing a version of masculinity that's slowly killing him from the inside out. I just experienced that recognition all over again during my conversation with the Midlife Mavericks crew out of Australia. We went deep into why every man should be in a men's group, how most of us are launched into adulthood completely unprepared for relationships, and the real cost of the "man box" we're all supposed to fit into.
What stuck with me most was talking about how we learn to override our bodies from such a young age. Sit still in class. Stop crying. Work 80 hours a week. All of it teaching us the same thing: ignore what's happening in your body and push through with your head. And then we wonder why we're exhausted, disconnected, and burning out in our 30s and 40s.
We got into the nervous system stuff, how emotions literally live in our bodies as tension and holding patterns. I shared my own journey, how I was a virgin until 26, carrying that shame in silence, desperate for connection but having no idea how to get there. It was men's groups and somatic work that cracked me open, helped me learn to actually feel what was happening inside instead of just white-knuckling through life.
The guys asked great questions about why men resist this work, the real barriers, and what it takes to build trust in a group of men. We talked about homophobia, about how many guys were hurt by the masculine growing up, and how that keeps us isolated and starving for connection.
If you're feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you're going through the motions, find a men's group. Get some support. You don't have to figure this out alone. If you want help with that or you're interested in the work I do around men's groups, relationships, and presence, go to evolutionarymen.com.
