I got the chance to sit down with Neelu Gurung recently to talk about something I'm deeply passionate about: men's groups and why they matter so much for men's mental health.
We covered a lot of ground in this conversation. I shared my own journey into this work, how I grew up with material security but zero emotional connection, and how that isolation followed me into adulthood. My first men's group in my mid-20s completely changed the trajectory of my life. It taught me how to actually feel what was happening inside me and communicate that with other people.
Neelu and I talked about what men's groups actually are, how they work, and why they can be so transformative. We got into the real costs of the "man box," that cultural conditioning that teaches men to disconnect from their bodies, never show vulnerability, and treat other men as competition rather than allies. The statistics are pretty stark. Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Men over 30 increasingly report having maybe one or two close friends, if that. And we're seeing the consequences in mental health struggles, heart disease, and suicide rates.
But here's what matters: when men get together with intention, when they actually slow down and share what's really going on, when they learn to feel their emotions instead of stuffing them down, everything shifts. I've watched men completely transform their lives through this work. Getting out of toxic relationships, finally taking a vacation after 25 years, changing careers, learning how to grieve, learning how to ask for what they need.
We also talked about breaking through the stigma around emotions and mental health for men. In a group setting, men quickly see that vulnerability isn't weakness. It's actually a superpower to be able to feel your emotions and process them safely rather than be terrified of them.
If you're a man reading this and you're feeling isolated, stuck, or like you're carrying everything alone, you don't have to. Find a men's group. Reach out. If you need help finding resources, contact me through my website. Everything hard in life gets harder when we do it alone. Having other men at your back doesn't make life easier, but it makes it a whole lot better.
You can find me at evolutionary.men. I run men's groups, have a podcast, and I'm always happy to help guys find connection in their area.
