I had a contact with a painful past this week where I met people who I had, in a prior life and with my younger self, thought of as friends. However, it was revealed to me that they doubted me behind my back and decided I was a lost cause not worth helping.

It hurt to know that despite the sense of safety they gave me at a difficult time in my youth, they secretly looked down on me and actually did not help me the way I needed at the time. Several expressed that they had given up on me.

I thought on this with my now older self and realized, “why would I ever treat my younger self the way you treated me? Sure, I would tell him he needed to get his stuff together and that he needed to get out of his state. But I did not give up on myself then, and I did work myself out of that time. My older self now would most definitely not give up on my younger self the way you guys did.”

My whole takeaway is to first realize how to hold myself with hope, care, and aid in the times I need so that I can move forwards and grow.

The second is to be able to know how to both ask for help and to know from whom it is safe to ask.

The third is to know who is truly able to carry me the way I need to be carried, and build and care for the trust, care and guidance we share.

The objective is to seek places of learning and growth and engage in ways with myself and others where we won’t give up on each other, we will be honest with each other and our growth, and we will help each other to grow.