Neediness is one of the most UNATTRACTIVE qualities we can embody as men, and it’s often present in subtle ways more than we realize.
Humans are social creatures, and our nervous systems are WIRED for connection from top to bottom, and intimate relationships are one of the primary ways we can get our physical, emotional, and spiritual connection needs met.
So it’s no surprise when we’re single one of our top priorities becomes finding a dating or relationship partner.
However, if we’re not careful, and mindful of the needs driving our desire to meet someone, it can become far too easy to begin “chasing” the feminine.
This type of chasing is directly correlated to “unhealthy” neediness and is a direct manifestation of the belief that “once I get X, then I’ll finally feel Y.” IE, once I sleep with this women, or once I get into relationship with this partner, then I’ll finally feel good about myself, or my life.
When this dynamic is present, it creates an “urgency” in our dating as we’re trying to find someone in order to feel better.
This type of chasing almost NEVER works.
If you’re trying to “get” a partner in order to feel better about yourself, at best you’ll only attract partners who are doing the same and at worst you’ll repel attuned women who can feel you trying to get something from them.
So what to do instead?
That’s right, instead of chasing women, start attracting women.
Attracting women requires an entirely different way of being in the world. It requires systematically changing your life to bring it into deep alignment with your values, AND for you to find peace and freedom inside yourself that is INDEPENDENT of your romantic partner.
As my friend and teacher Dr. Robert Glover says, you must fill your OWN life satisfaction bucket.
The moment that happens, and you stop needing to find someone else to bring fulfillment in your life, you shift into abundance and your life bucket can actually overflow into the buckets of those around you.
An aligned man leading a life he already LOVES is a free man, and freedom is THE masculine gift and incredibly attractive to the feminine.
Wholeness ATTRACTS wholeness, and so if you’ve frequently attracted partners who themselves were volatile, controlling, or in need of rescue, it’s because you’re still living in the delusion that a partner can give you something that will make you feel better about yourself.
Until this shift happens and you can move from trying to get something from a partner, to living such a kickass full life that you simply want to SHARE it with a partner, there will be a hidden neediness behind EVERY interaction you have whether online or in person!
When you DROP that type of chasing, and instead take responsibility for your own well being and create a life of health, service, community, and meaning, women will start NOTICING you!
The directionality of that type of life is magnetic, and by doing things you love with people you love, you will CROSS paths with potential partners who will FEEL your wholeness and freedom, which will ATTRACT them to you!
STOP chasing women; start attracting them instead.