ONE-ON-ONE WITH JASON LANGE
PRIVATE SHADOW WORK
One-on-one work on the patterns running your relationships, your body, and your polarity from underground. The stuff you can't see by looking harder.
Six or twelve sessions. Just you and me. We find what's actually running the show, we feel it all the way through in your body, and we build the capacity to do the thing you haven't been able to do.
FREE · SIXTY MINUTES · NO APPLICATION
THE PATTERN
YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS.
There's a thing you do that you know you don't want to be doing. It doesn't help your life. And you keep doing it anyway.
Maybe you go quiet the second she gets upset, and by the time you've figured out what you feel, the moment is gone. Maybe you say yes to everything at work and come home with nothing left. Maybe you blow up over a text that didn't come back fast enough, and then spend two days confused about where that came from.
You've read the books. You've probably done therapy. You can explain the pattern to anyone who asks.
And it still runs you.
That's what shadow is. Anything inside you that's running the show that you're not aware of. It's like trying to look over your own shoulder to see your own shadow. You can't get there by looking harder. It takes someone standing where they can see it.
I know this from the inside. For years, people told me I had this deep, calm presence. So grounded. It took me a long time to realize the truth. I wasn't present. I was numb.
THE CALM WAS THE CLAMP.
THE METHOD
SHADOW WORK IS WHOLENESS WORK.
SOME FEELINGS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE FELT ALONE.
Every one of us has parts we've disowned, repressed, or been taught not to touch. Anger that wasn't safe to have. Grief that never got felt. The energy didn't leave. It went underground, and your nervous system has been spending a piece of your life force every day holding it there.
That's the exhaustion. It takes energy to not feel.
Shadow work is the process of turning toward that material on purpose, with someone who can hold it with you. We go back to the moment your system got overwhelmed and didn't have the capacity to process it, and we process it now. Your body learns the past is not the present.
When that happens, the energy that was going into holding it down comes back. You have more of yourself available for your partner, your kids, your work. And the pattern that felt permanent starts to have some give in it.
THE TERRITORY
WHERE THE SHADOW SHOWS UP IN A MAN'S LIFE
Men rarely come to me saying "I need shadow work." They come with one of these.
01
Relationships
The fight you keep having. The shutdown that arrives before you've decided anything. The partner who says she can't feel you, and you have no idea what she means. Underneath the fight is a younger part of you that learned a long time ago what happens when you stay.
02
Polarity
You got safe and reasonable and lost the charge. You're best friends. You're roommates. The practices for generating attraction are actually the easy part, and you can learn them in a weekend. What blocks them is the wound underneath, the reason you don't want to step forward in the first place, or what happens in you when you do and she doesn't open.
03
Embodiment
Living from the neck up. You can name every feeling and locate none of them. When someone asks what you feel, there's a delay, then a word that sounds right. The pattern runs from the body, so that's where we work. The actual sensation, tracked slowly enough that you can finally see the sequence.
04
Purpose and drive
Chronic achieving that never quite lands, or the opposite, the man who can't make the move. These are usually the same thing wearing different clothes. Both are strategies a boy built to be okay, and both cost you the thing you actually want.
All four are the same work. Find what's running the show, feel it through, and take the wheel back.
A SESSION
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE SIT DOWN
Sessions are 60 minutes, on Zoom, or in person if you're in Colorado. There's no worksheet. Here's the shape of it.
01
We start in the body.
Before we talk about anything, we slow down and check what's actually here. Tight chest. Held breath. The nothing-feeling that you've stopped noticing. That's the material.
02
We work what's live.
The conversation from Tuesday. The text you didn't send. Real situations, not hypotheticals. Something in your actual week that has a charge on it.
03
We go into the feeling, not around it.
There's a way we've all talked about our feelings without being in them. You'll know the difference when your voice cracks a little, or your hands get shaky. That's where things rewire.
04
We integrate.
The point of touching the material is to walk out with more of yourself. A big release you leave behind in the room doesn't count. We track what shifted and where it lives in you now.
05
You leave with a practice.
Specific to your pattern. Something you do between sessions so the change lands in your life, not just in the room.
This work doesn't take years. With someone who can take you there, things move in sessions. Sometimes in minutes. The grip loosens, and what's left is scar tissue you can live with instead of a wound you organize your life around.
PRIVATE VS. GROUP
WHY ONE-ON-ONE
I run men's groups. I've been in them for over twenty years, and I'll tell you plainly that a group is the more resilient way to change. So why work privately?
Containment
Some material needs a container smaller than a circle. Sexual shame. Rage that scares you. Private work gives you a room where you're the only one being tracked.
Pace
A group moves at the group's pace. Here, if something opens at minute twelve, we stay with it for the next forty-eight.
Confidentiality
Some men lead teams or companies. What they carry can't go in a room with peers. It can go in this one.
Precision
I'm not teaching a curriculum. I'm reading you, in real time, and going where your system is ready to go.
If you want this work inside a group of men, with a retreat, that's The Heart of Shadow, which I co-lead with Dr. Luke Adler. Some men do both. Many men who finish the group come here to keep going.
TWO CONTAINERS
THE INVESTMENT
Two containers. Pick the one that matches what you're carrying.
SIX MONTHS
$4,800
- 12 sessions, 60 minutes each
- Roughly every other week over six months
- Zoom, or in person in Colorado
- Voice-message support between sessions
For a man who already knows the pattern is old and wants the runway to get all the way under it.
THREE MONTHS
$2,700
- 6 sessions, 60 minutes each
- Roughly every other week over three months
- Zoom, or in person in Colorado
- Voice-message support between sessions
Most men start here.
Every engagement starts with a free exploratory session. If I don't think private work is the right move for you, I'll say so and point you at what is.
FREE
BEFORE YOU BOOK ANYTHING
I don't want you leaving this page with nothing. Here's something you can do tonight, alone, for free.
Sit somewhere you won't be interrupted. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Breathe so the bottom hand moves first. Stay there for five minutes.
Then ask yourself one question. What am I not letting myself feel right now?
Don't answer it with a word. Wait for the body to answer. Heat, tightness, a drop in the stomach, nothing at all. Whatever shows up is the beginning of the work.
If nothing shows up, that's information too. That's usually the men I work with.
IN THEIR WORDS
MEN WHO'VE DONE THIS WORK WITH ME
Private clients and men from my groups, in their own words.
"Working with Jason has been phenomenal. I came to him for help working through some shadows, so that I don't bring old toxic patterns with me into my new relationship. Within six months we worked on various inner-child wounds, cultivated my capacity for groundedness alongside playfulness with my partner, as well as working through jealousy and communication blocks. The shifts have been utterly profound. I am at a place in my relationship which I never thought possible. Not only that, with the tools and insights I gain with Jason, I have trust in myself that I can sustain and grow this container."
FRED · PRIVATE COACHING CLIENT
"I went into it knowing I tended to avoid conflict and it was hurting my relationships. I hoped doing this work with Jason and Luke would help. What I experienced was beyond my expectations. I was able to fully feel emotions I'd been holding for decades. My partner commented I seemed more grounded, better able to stay engaged when she was emotional, and a more present father. I also connected with a tribe of men that offers a level of support I was previously missing."
MIKE · THE HEART OF SHADOW
"I've been in a transition period where I was stressed out about my career, and to add to the chaos, I recently got out of an engagement to someone I thought I wanted to marry. With lots of soul searching, I stumbled upon Jason's workshop and it was the right experience I needed to let go of the grief and stress I was holding in my mind and body. Through Jason's method, I uncovered an unconscious belief about myself that never surfaced in talk therapy or other workshops. Jason then helped me process this emotion and reconnect with myself."
BLAKE · SHADOW BREAKTHROUGH WORKSHOP
"I was skeptical of men's work because I had seen ridiculous videos from the '80s of men running around half naked in the woods trying to be all spiritual. Jason's approach is very practical and deals with the challenges we have in the real world. Like the barriers that kept me from having male friends. That prevented me from being my full self in relationship to my wife and son. That made men appear so competitive and antagonistic in my encounters at work. Jason's approach to men's work opened me up to feelings I had been burying for a long time and helped me clear up the fog of confusion I was operating in."
LLOYD · MEN'S GROUP EXPERIENCE
ABOUT
JASON LANGE
I'm a recovering nice guy. I spent my twenties with no language for what I felt and a body that was anxious in every room with a woman in it. I've been in men's groups for over twenty years and have facilitated hundreds of them. I don't coach from a script. I coach from scar tissue.
I'm the founder of Evolutionary Men. I co-lead Pillars of Presence with Melanie Curtin, co-lead The Heart of Shadow men's group and retreat with Dr. Luke Adler, and host the Evolutionary Men Podcast. I'm a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy coach and a Stages International Certified Debriefer. My training runs through John Wineland, Dr. Robert Glover, Jun Po Roshi, Tripp Lanier, Ken Wilber, Brother David Steindl-Rast, and Robert Augustus Masters.
20+
YEARS IN MEN'S WORK
150+
PODCAST EPISODES
200+
APPEARANCES ON OTHER SHOWS
"Keep an eye on Jason Lange. You are going to start seeing his name more and more in the world of men's work."
DR. ROBERT GLOVER · AUTHOR OF NO MORE MR. NICE GUY
QUESTIONS
COMMON QUESTIONS
How much does it cost?
$2,700 for six sessions over about three months, or $4,800 for twelve sessions over about six months. Both include voice-message support between sessions. The exploratory session is free.
How often do we meet?
Most men meet every other week. Some in an intense transition go weekly for a stretch. Sessions are 60 minutes, on Zoom, or in person if you're local to Colorado.
Is this the same as therapy?
No. Therapy diagnoses and treats. This is coaching for men who are functional and stuck. We work the specific pattern, in the body, in real time. Plenty of men do both at once. If something clinical comes up, I'll refer you to the right person.
I've done years of therapy. What's different here?
Most talk therapy gives you the map. This is the territory. We slow down enough to feel the actual sequence in your body, and we work it there. Men are often surprised how fast something they've talked about for years starts to loosen once it's felt instead of described.
Can I do this alongside a group program?
Yes. Men combine private work with The Heart of Shadow, with Pillars of Presence: Attraction From the Inside Out, and with the Men's Group Experience. The group gives you the mirrors. Private work gives you the scalpel.
What if I've never done anything like this?
No prerequisite. Some men come with a decade of work behind them. Some have never told another man what's going on inside. If I think a group would serve you better as a starting point, I'll tell you that on the call.
What results can I expect?
Men report less reactivity, more capacity to stay present in conflict, deeper intimacy, a clearer sense of what they want, and boundaries without guilt. What you get depends on what you bring and whether you do the practice between sessions.
How do I start?
Book the free exploratory session. Sixty minutes on Zoom. We talk about where you are and what you're looking for, and I tell you honestly whether this is the right room for it.
ONE MORE THING
YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.
The fact that you're still reading says something your body already knows.
I work with a small number of men at a time. When the roster is full, I keep a waitlist, and I'll tell you where you are on it.
The pattern will still be there next year. The only real question is whether you'll still be under it.
FREE · SIXTY MINUTES · NO APPLICATION