What the Feminine Wants More of From You Is What the World Wants More of From You

All right, and welcome back. In today's episode, I'm going to talk about an interesting pattern or observation I've seen in the world, and truth be told, a lot of other transformational leaders have seen in the world.

And off the bat, for simplicity's sake, I'm going to be speaking about it from the perspective of the work I do in the world. So I tend to help a lot of men, specifically straight guys who are interested in women, transform their dating and relationship experience. So I'm going to be using languaging speaking towards that. But I'm pretty convinced what I'm about to share really applies to anyone, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, you name it.

I think this applies to all relationships, but particularly for the types of relationships I'm going to be speaking towards. And so it really comes down to this. Whatever it is the feminine is wanting more of from you is the same thing the world is wanting more of from you. So when I say the feminine, what I mean specifically is you, your wife or your girlfriend or women you're interested in dating and pursuing, you name it, whatever it is they're craving more of or desiring more of is the exact same thing you're being called to bring more of to in the world.

Now, for a lot of us, that comes through our work and our purpose, but that could also be in your family and other relationships. Now, this becomes an incredibly powerful and useful tool when we dial into this, right? Because instead of seeing intimacy in relationships and work and purpose as separate, we start to see they're very connected.

And making a shift in one often impacts the other. And so if you show up differently in your purpose and your work, you're often going to show up differently in relationship and vice versa. Now, what's so powerful about how the feminine can reflect that to us, so our partners is it can kind of give us a clue if we're not totally sure where we need to make shifts in the world, so to speak, in our work and in our purpose.

Now, there's all kinds of things, right, that a woman might be wanting more of from a man. More presence, more slowness, more boldness, more adventure, more humor, more ass kicking, more leadership, more structure. These are just a few I can think of off the bat. But there's really countless or even more sensitivity for some guys, right?

I wish he would just attune to me, slow down, notice what his actions do and what impact they have on me. Now we can use that feedback to kind of supercharge how we're showing up in the world, how we're showing up in our work, how we're showing up in our purpose. And the connection between the two is why I tend to focus on, focus on that so much.

Large part of what I do is help guys get into the relationships they really want with the women they really want. Because something starts to happen in that world when they feel the limitations of whatever's holding them back there, light bulbs start to go off of, ah, that's holding me back elsewhere as well. And the same tools that we use to help men make shifts around patterns of attraction and taking the lead and going for what they want in relationship are exactly the same tools we can then use and they can then use for their work, for their purpose.

And because it's a two way street, having guys focus on their deepest purpose, like why am I here? What do I really need to do to be able to rest my head in peace every night? As men get clear on that, how they show up in relationship changes as well, right? If they're kicking ass at their purpose, if they're kicking ass at work, it's easier to feel like they're gonna kick ass when it comes to attraction and dating and relationships and vice versa, when our relationship, when our intimacy is kicking ass, we feel more grounded and able to take big risks in work.

I've seen it time and time again that focusing on relationship and making some shifts, boom. Guys get promotions, guys switch jobs or careers. Now for all of this to work and for us to be able to use this gift of tuning into what our feminine partners are calling for more of from us. We have to A be present as men, B be open to receiving that feedback.

This is a huge edge for myself and so many men I know Taking feedback without defensiveness and making that feedback wrong, right? Oftentimes as guys, when we get feedback that our partner didn't like something we did, whether it wasn't how we showed up in the relationship, how we showed up sexually, how we were, whatever.

It's very easy for us guys to go to defend, right? We defend by trying to explain in hopes that if she understands, the problem will just go away. That almost never works. Trust me, I've tried it way too many times, unsuccessfully in my marriage. Instead, an openness, a willingness to just be curious, wow.

Doesn't feel true to me. But tell me more, tell me more, what's that about for you? Or how did you experience me in that moment? And then to actually take in that feedback is a profoundly challenging thing, but an incredible edge for most of us men to really lean into to, as my teacher John says, to start from a place of generosity and assuming goodwill and taking a look at where might she be, right?

Where might her oracle, where might her tuning fork be? Right in that whatever she's noticing in her nervous system in relationship to me, in our relationship, whatever kind of container that is, what might be true about that, about how my presence or relating is impacting her?

Because when you're willing to hear that and actually receive that, the game can totally change. Because in some ways you've got a hack, all of a sudden you've got a hack to wow. This is probably an area where I could benefit from a little more consciousness, a little more presence, a little more attention that would likely pay huge dividends in other areas of my life, particularly my work, my impact, my purpose in the world, right?

Whatever it is that world is craving more of from me for me to be a fully realized participant in it. This is a huge one for us guys. And becomes one of the killer apps of being in relationship, truth be told, is getting this kind of direct connection to someone who's deeply in relationship with us and getting that feedback from them. Because the more we get that feedback, the more we open to that, the more powerfully we can change our presence and how we're showing up more in the world.

And it's pretty cool too, to actually see this mirroring happen and how spot on it can be, right? Your partner might be wanting more spontaneity, more confidence from you, more creativity, more cleanliness, more structure, more accountability, right? And I guarantee those things are showing up elsewhere in your life and preventing you from getting what you truly want or having the full impact you could totally have in the world.

I know for me, the type of feedback I often get is to just be more present, more tuned in, less checked out, less stressed out, less more focused. Things that totally show up in my work. And my ability to get distracted easily, not take charge and move forward projects really important to me, or to just kind of be tuned out and not really there in even some of the work I do, whether it's the type of coaching and group work I do now or the types of jobs I had previously to make ends meet.

What do you think the women I've pursued wanted more of? And see what the people around you say, because their feedback is going to be pretty powerful too. And again, the more you take this feedback in, the more you can potentially bring it straight into your work, into your purpose. And the more you transform your work in your purpose, the more that same energy then is going to circle back and allow you to show up differently in relationship.

It's pretty cool how this works and how I often see men simultaneously deepening in both. They have some success taking their relationships or dating to a new level. And then something shifts at work, something shifts at their job, new opportunity opens up, or they create something that they've always wanted to create and then that cycles back into their relationship and how empowered they feel to really go for what they want in their partnership.

These two things go hand in hand. And it's not something to overlook because again, it's like an amazing hack that can really accelerate your transformation when you're open to actually hearing and receiving this type of feedback from your feminine partner or any kind of partner, whoever you might be dating. But when you take a real deep profound look at what type of feedback they have for you, you'll see how it manifests elsewhere in your life and suddenly you have a clue about where to start to make all kinds of changes in the things most important to you.

So what is that for you? What is the feminine wanting more of? Maybe you know, off the bat maybe you need to have some conversations to find out. Whichever it is, I strongly encourage you to take a look to take a look because I think you'll find some real gold there. If you want to work with me transforming your dating and relationships and purpose, definitely check out my free training at Evolutionary Men webinar.

It's all about how men take their power back, take control of their love lives. Also check out one of my drop in men's groups at Evolutionary Men events. Until next time.